I read often..just dont post often..
looking for suggestions on how do I get my mother to go to bed..
for the last week or so..she refuses..insists on she must go home..the therapuetic fibs arent working..I am exhausted..I want /need some sleep..I work full time, and she goes to day care while i work, I have spoken to the day care to increase her activities in hope to "tire her out". They have reported she is not napping through out the day..
please...i just need some sleep its 1130pm and she is still refusing, i am losing patience

Have you tried going for a walk with her outside after daycare?
Does she have her own room? What if you laid down in her room with her?
If all else fails, you could take her to her neurologist/psychiatrist and get medications, but I'd personally try to exhause all non-medicinal options first. I'm sure other people will have some good suggestions.

Oh you poor thing,,I remember those days all too well,,when I was "whipped and exhausted" and Mom was always raring to go 24/7.

Its time to call your Mom's Dr and request some meds to give her to help her sleep. Is she on Risperdal or Seroquel by any chance? If so,,the dosage may need to be increased,,or rather than taking it once a day,,she may need to take it twice a day.

If this proves to be a negative,,well then,,,how about sending her for a week long respite vacation. Even if you still have to work,,at least you'll be able to get some sleep that you desparately need.

Also,,while at the "vacation stay",,,if the daycare provides transportation to and from ,,,they can still get her from the facility she is staying at.

I know,,its never easy,,and there isn't alot of money,,but you do what has to be done to keep your sanity,,and your job. Mom will be ok. Keep us posted. Oh,,see if she by any slim chance may have a UTI. Peace

I am so sorry. Know the feeling. Thank goodness my mother and daddy saved for rainey day as I was able to hire a night sitter after I tried for months to do by myself. Raven has good idea as even a little break is better than none. I bet you could ask a friend or relative to come and sit one night at least. We are all too proud to take advantage of those that say "can I do something for you" and really mean it. If you have someone like that reach out and let them.. they will receive much from your having allowed them to help you.
Good luck and I will wrap you in warm blanket and a hug that you may get sleep for your hard workday. Knowing we are here may help your mind, because we are all in this walk with you.

Thanks for the suggestions..
It is now 1am, and she just agreed to go to bed. She hopefully will go to sleep and stay asleep. She is was still insisting she needs to leave and go home..
Mom is on no meds xcept for b/p and insulin.
Yes raven another week of respite sounds good..I dont know how much more of this i can take..i may just feel this way from sleep deprivation...she will be going into respite in the beginning of nov for about 5 days when my daughter gets married.
its been 10min and her bed alarm has not sounded..keep ur fingers crossed i will be able to catch a couple hours of sleep before i have to get up and do it all over again..what a life

Talk to her doctor or neurologist...a small dose of seroquel 1/2 hour before bed might be a god send...or some other mild anti-psychotic...

your mom sounds like my MIL...the little engine that could or the energizer bunny...they just keep going and going...gotta admire their energy, wish I had it. But we can't be good caregivers if we don't get our rest.

Time-release Ambien plus two 0.333 mcg melatonin tablets works for my 88-year-old life partner most of the time. I've noticed that her insomnia was much worse when she was very depressed; she's been on Zoloft about 5 weeks and goes to sleep better now.

If your mom is at a stage where she's just naturally active during the night, you might need a night caregiver or a night day center. Unfortunately only a few places have night day centers for AD patients who love to be active at night, but it's a great idea.

If you're in a high-population area, maybe you could get one started on a small scale. Someone who's a natural night owl might really enjoy hosting a few night-owl AD patients and letting their families get some sleep.

I have had a similar situation with my Mother, except bedtime for her is now around 4:00am.
She's had some nights where she doesn't sleep at all and i fall asleep only to find her removing all the items out of the kitchen cabinets.

But back to your situation...
I did try melatonin at 1/3 of a tablet, it seemed to work BUT she woke up in the middle of the night completely panicked because her surroundings were not familiar. So, never again for us with the melatonin.
Then I called the GP doc and he gave us some Lunesta samples. Oddly, this stuff made her wide awake and slightly buzzed! Including an extremely unsteady gait when walking. I literally had to hold onto her to keep her from swaying and falling down...all night long.
That was the worst night to date. i kept kicking myself for giving it to her.
I called my GP and told them to never give that to anyone else with similar issues.
They responded by suggesting Ambien CR. I respectfully declined. So her hours are now my hours and I'll just have to live with that for now. and yes, I'm exhausted.

Small offering:

When my mother wanted to "go home" and it was dark out, I told her we'd wake everyone up but that we could go in the morning. "Oh I think we'd frighten them if we showed up in the middle of the night." Since home was her mother and dad's, she didn't want to alarm them and then she'd settle down.
sometimes worked...
sometimes I'd called her being with me a "sleep over"-- as if she were a little girl on an overnight away from home.
and in the morning she'd have forgotten...

I feel your pain. My mother is the exact same way. For six days we went sleepless. My mom's neurologist finally put her on Haldol, liquid form. It seemed to work really well. They tapered her down but now she is starting the no sleeping again so we had to go back up on the drug. If you find out any better solution let me know..we also let mom sleep in a recliner instead of the bed. She seems to like it better!

Here's what is happening here... humm badly written. Miss Marie (89+) was working 2 or 3 days a week until 26 months ago. So she doesn't sundown she sun ups. In the morning she is confused, out bet is because she has no where to go - no routine if your will. Bright sunny days she is agitated because she wants to get out and work in her gardens and such. Her best time is from 3 - 9 she is home and calm and work is over and all of that (such was her routine for years). Her dad had a BIG wound pendulum clock when she was a girl, at 10:00 he wound it and that was the clue for everyone to go to bed for the night. Once I learned that story, she fell right into the routine! If she has trouble (which isn't often) we talk about her dad and his big clock, and she knows she had best be in bed and asleep before he catches her awake after 10! Small Blessings! It may not always work, but every night I can be in my jammies shortly after 10 and here the soft zzzzz, zzzz of Miss Marie soundly asleep lets me get some much needed rest!

quote:

Her dad had a BIG wound pendulum clock when she was a girl, at 10:00 he wound it and that was the clue for everyone to go to bed for the night. Once I learned that story, she fell right into the routine! If she has trouble (which isn't often) we talk about her dad and his big clock, and she knows she had best be in bed and asleep before he catches her awake after 10! Small Blessings! It may not always work, but every night I can be in my jammies shortly after 10 and here the soft zzzzz, zzzz of Miss Marie soundly asleep lets me get some much needed rest!

That's really interesting!

my mother in law does not sleep, she also does not get into her bec because her bed has become her work area where she folds things and puts different items in patterns, she sleeps in her recliner. If we turn the tv on and put on a channel with old moves she will nod off but she realistically only sleeps about 4 hours a day, she is on hospice care and is being given morphine for COPD as well as anti anxiety drugs, we really thought this would make her sleepy but it hasn't