Jean C wrote that her mom was at stage 5 or 6 and in a HH...My mom is at stage 5 can dress herself, eat the foods I leave for her during the day while I work, sweep, has and does nothing unsafe, keeps doors locked, doenst wander, dresses herself and more however, I guess I'm wondering if she needs to be in a NH...can someone tell me when one takes a LO to a NH? What behaviors constitute a NH Jean said in a nutshellI will tell you putting Mom (92)about stage 5-6 in the alz unit was the hardest thing we ever had to do. I have no support whatsoever from my sister. She thinks I'm stealing money when in reality I'm paying mom's bills (she can't) overseeing her monies giving her cash etc. Arranged direct deposits and more. In fact, mom living with me has increased my expenses. With her home during the day the heater is on more, as is the television and lights. And my sister just loves her memory filled telephone conversations with mom and ignores the fact that my mom wants to return to So CA. But I can't just take mom back to her condo and drop her off...she'd never be able to drive and get groceries or her medications...unless my sister is willing to help by default my mom has to stay here--for a year now I've been telling sister that mom wants to go home with no response at all--it was perfectly ok when my sister was on mom's accounts and I wasn't, but then in 2002 my mom and sis had a fight and my mother, unknown to me removed my sister and added me . I signed a bank card so she could add me but I didn't know she removed my sister...my sister thinks I made her do all of this...my mom also removed my sister entirely from her will...sis doesn't know this either but I encouraged mom a year ago to put my sis back in just because I knew we'd have this financial arguement.... Anyway help...when do we put a LO in a NH>
Dear Jean C, Welcome to the club, sorry you are here. You will know that it is time for mom to move to a NH or to assisted living when she is no longer safe at home. When she needs to call you at work more than 4 times a day, when she is not able to reheat food safely, or to eat the food that you have bought for her chosing junk food instead or just not eating. It is time when she goes outside and gets locked out, or gets lost walking to the store or mailbox. Now, while there is still time go look at NH and ALF adult day care, and inhome agencies. Sorry you sister is an ass, it happens, and your moms early dementia may have contributed to their estrangement. If you havent spoken with an elder lawyer now is a very good time to do this as well.
Only you can decide when the time is right for placement in a NH or ALF but my advice would be not to wait too long. If you wait until many of the stage 6-7 behaviors manifest, you may have difficulty finding a facility to take her. My husband found that out the hard way. Tried to keep his mom in her lovely ALF too long. Have been through hell trying to find a spot for her in more specialized facility. Many ALZ facilities won't take late stage ALZ patients.
Kathy
Posts: 797 | Location?: Illinois,USA | Registered: April 24, 2007
That's what I'm so afraid of is that there won't be space in a facility; then what does one do...she tooo capable now to be placed and I do monitor progress, but what do I do quit work and stay home with a 6 or 7 stage individual until I can find a space? OMG. Scares me to death.
One you place your Moms name on waiting lists for the place or places that you like best. Second if a person goes from the hospital to the NH placement is often easier than going directly from home. My dad had multiple health issues as well as dementia. After one fall/ pneumonia episode he was admitted to the hospital and after 3 days (medicare minimium) and recover from pneumonia he was transfered to a NH for rehab, and then placed permanently. Medicare paid for the rehab, and then he was private pay for 1 or 2 months while he qualified for medicaid. Medicaid then paid for his care until his death.
