this may sound trivial to most..but do any of your LO have any compulsive behavior that just drives you crazy...My mother constantly is plying with the velcro on her shoes..open..close..open close....you know that sound...its driving me crazy..I have looked at her feet no problems..the shoe fits well...Its driving me insane...sorry I just had to vent..

I know what you mean. Sometimes it's just the littlest thing that will get on your nerves. My MIL has to have oxygen at night and everytime I turn on the machine to put the oxygen mask on her at bedtime the machine always beeps and of course, she has to say over and over beep, beep, beep, beep. I finally get her to quit but it is sooooo annoying. I'm going to start turning it on before she gets to her bed so I won't have to hear her say it anymore.

Oh another thing she does is when she's putting on her shirt she'll put her arms through her shirt and ALWAYS will make a fist and as I'm pulling the sleeve over her hand she'll say POW and act like she's going to shoot me. Sounds crazy doesn't it, but it is so annoying.

thx ladyblue..i was thinking i was the only one and maybe it was just me..I dont know why it is so annoying to me..
i know that there is so many other important issues going on with everyone here and what gives me the right to complain about this trivial behavior..
i just recently went with velcro shoes as she was having difficulty with tying and trying to keep her as independent as possible. I am not so sure about the velcro..i might just go back to laces and tie them for her
again thx for letting me know that Im not the only one

okay you guys...you opened a can of worms...I "think" this stuff often but never say it out loud...

it bugs me when:

she constantly worries about the dog and keeps calling her... when she's sitting right next to her.

she constanly folds and refolds newspapers, napkins, blankets to the point of aggitation.

she wipes the dinner table with her kleenex.

she flushes the toilet before she goes...but not after.

and the new one...there is always little bits of food left in her mouth these days...and she spits them out...all over the house (grape skins, oatmeal nuggets, sesame seeds...ugh!!!)

...and I hate it when this stuff bugs me but it usually means it's been a bad day...like today.

A rattling cane. Dad got mom a cane years ago. It was adjustable. Thing rattled to no end. Everytime mom walked all I could hear was the rattling. I finally bought her a new one this week. Etched her name in it last night.

Repetitive sounds would make me crazy, but the Lord seems to have spared me. LOL However, the fiddling with her blanket and always removing socks and slippers does drive me a little nuts. She is always trying to fold things perfectly and is WAY beyond that now so she'll take any "corner" of her blanket and fold it over and over until she has what looks like a big, oddly shaped gift wrapped by a small child sitting in her lap. LOL I try to distract her with cloth napkins or towels, but she's always folding her blanket. It really shouldn't bother me but it does.

That, and rubbing her mouth over and over and over...

wiping kitchen countertops with a tongue dampened finger and thinking noting of it...

Oh goodness, Nessa, I thought our LO was the only one with the spitting thing! LOL She has gotten to where she doesn't even turn her head to spit over the *side* of the chair, she just spits little pieces of food everywhere, down her front. eek

My mom used to do the licking the finger thing when we were kids except to our faces..thank goodness for pre-moistened wipes now

how about the repeating repeating repeating?

and the checking and rechecking and rechecking for the hankie in the purse?

this afternoon I put some shirts in the washing machine and she's told me seven times now in five minutes that she put some things in the machine for watering!

gremlin, MIL does the finger licking/wiping too...can you say "antibacterial spray"?...oh she would be sooo embarrassed.

and we've decided to re-name the poor dog after MIL dies...the name is just worn out...talk about repetative...it's like finger nails on a chalk board

LAteach...the folding thing with the blanket...for MIL, once she's spent so much time folding it she thinks it's some sort of treasure and woe to anyone who tries to take it away from her or move it...

these are things, that unless you've experienced them, they don't mean the same thing...thank you for being in the same boat with us...

Feeding her dog 5 times a day, and the rest of the day, trying to force feed the poor thing by hand becuase Mom is convinced the dog isn't eating. And the stupid dog loves Mom so much that she won't walk away from her even though she cannot possibly be hungry. So, after the dog has breakfast, I sneak extra food from the bowl every time mom refills it so she thinks the dog is eating. We're talking a dog that weighed a healthy 8 pounds two years ago. She weighs 12 now. Good thing we use cheap dog food!

Hi all,
it's really nothing much but the one thing that annoys me with MIL's behaviour is the chanting. DH will say something to her and mention that she might forget and she will chant "I will not, not, not, I will not, not, not, I will not, not, not, not, not.... the other is when we tell her we're all going out for a ride. She will then begin to chant, "We're going in the car, car , car, the car, car, car ,the car, car, car, we're going in the car, car, car, the car, car, car, car, car..... This will go on until we actually leave the apartment and go It's just strange to hear this from someone who was quite bright and with it a few years back. She's also started to hit people in a child like way (relatives only) when she doesn't agree with something.

Oh my, oh my, oh my,my, my! And to think that I am close to screaming because my poor little mom says "Oink,oink" when I bring her her weekly box of candy!

"My nose is running!" (it isn't) "I want to go home!" She takes her foot off the footrest of the wheelchair and I have to put on the brakes, bend down, put the lag back in place....
And Beatrice, tablemate, constantly grinds her dentures! Eeks!

OH my Mom is the OCD Queen!! She will rub her hands together or up and down her arms and legs and that noise as her hands run over the fabric makes me insane. She has started taking the Potatoes out of the bag and lining them up on the counters and then walking off with them...I have to hide things. She takes everyones mail (because she's used to having to do everything) and the little reply cards in magazines and lines them up in a row......I know it's her trying to get the puzzle pieces of her brain back in place but it makes me nuts and once you touch them you are pond scum. She gets mad and is even starting to throw things, i'm just waiting to get a shoe upside my head!

Hi all. A few months ago, my Mom started playing with her buttons on her blouse and opening them all up. We have to put a sleeveless shell under the blouse, so there are no "free shows." Unfortunately, she has deteriorated so much in the last months, that I wish that was all I had to crab about . Altho, I do have to admit, it still makes me nervous to watch her fumble and rip off the buttons. Ah man, this disease sucks.

Oh my gosh i can relate to each and everyone of these..the chanting.. the repeating..the folding..the feeding the dog constantly and (of course the dog doesnt tell her you fed me 15 min ago ), the buttons...
can you imagine if we put them all in a room together...

I had to chuckle a little at the image of all of our twitchy, obsessive LOs in a room together...like a playdate for our ancient toddlers?

Or a little like a scene from "One Who Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest".

Mom ALWAYS has a wad of kleenex in her hand that I need to pry out so she can hold on to her walker...or drinking glass...or whatever. She grips it so tightly you would think it was a handful of money.

Every pocket of every article of clothing has kleenex in it.

I'm with you Lily!!! Mom TAKES napkins, huge wads of napkins from resturants and they are everywhere! She will also rip the paper towels into individual sheets and lay them out on the counter...I can never tell if they were used for anything so I error on the side of clean living and throw them away. She will also take the dirty dishes out of the sink, wipe them off and then put them away.....unwashed. Fun times but I look at it this way, I probably did stuff like that as a kid and I guess it's my turn for pay back. Not that it helps when I'm picking them up and she's stomping around in the other room because i'm picking them up.

You know we may be on to something here..they are all doing the same thing...
if you notice its all moms too
mom tries to walk with her walker with wads of TP..wada of paper towels,
oh and mom is youger than me

Well, how about while were in the Drs. office, DM
pulls her pants leg up and starts plucking the hairs out of her legs and then starts on her arms
Reading the paper upside down!!!!!
Clicking her tongue!
Eating the ice cream from the container and maybe eating 1/2 gallon a day and nobody else gets any.....
Wants to call and complain that she paid too much for her perm! She thinks she paid $1.00 and that was tooo much
Peeing on my wood floor!!!!
Constantly eating junk food all day and the women doesn't gain any weight.....
Wears 4 watches on 1 arm and none of them work...
Wants to take 3 purses with her when we go out to the store......
These are just a few of the things DM does that really gets to me...

Isn't it weird how the seemingly little things are harder to take than the big things? My mom spits too. Into pieces of tissue that she tears off and then stuffs into her pockets. Or if no tissues available then into her hand and wipes it under her chair or under the table. Those are the worst, but the repetitious phrases drive me crazy. Every morning as we peel her banana together, "I'm Chiquita Banana and I'm here to say", or when we are outside and she hears the birds, "cheep cheep cheep", and lot of other cliches. Now that I write it down it sounds funny but at the time I think I'm the one going crazy. I know the day will come when I will wish I could hear her voice again, but for now...

Everyone, thank you for the laughs! Not unkind ones, just stress relief laughs. My mother grinds her front teeth together with her lips open ALL THE TIME which makes her wear a permanent snarl on her face. It is really scary looking. She also picks at a sore spot on her head all the time until it is bleeding and when I try to stop her she always says, "I am trying to get that scab." Gross!!! She has no short-term memory and no cognitive abilities but appears "normal" to outsiders until she asks the same series of questions over and over. My God!! The repetition!!! I want to scream sometimes. Thanks for letting me vent...

My dad pants. I swear he does it to get attention. He's done it since summer before last when he kept going to the ER with "heart problems", there never were any after his initial heart attack two years ago. I tell him to quit it or he'll hyperventilate.

A few to add to the list:

Wipe mouth with napkin then cleans the table and or counter tops.

Plug the toilet with insane amounts of t.p.

Pack all of her under garments into plastic garbage bags.

Change clothes 10 to 20 times a day.

Ok everyone it's my turn to vent the annoying things mom does...
One is she has to go check to see if my husbands laundry is dry yet and only his laundry,every three minuets. But she doesn't ever wash her own laundry!

She covers up her food with a kleenex when she can't eat anymore. Then ten minuet later she's starving and doesn't remember that she just ate! She always leaves food that she has chewed up on the side of her plate, like tomato skins or the end of french fries or just anything... annoying!

When I choose to tell her something that I think she will be able to enjoy with out getting agitated about.... she says "what did you say I couldn't hear you? 3 times in a row! OMGOSH! why do I bother telling her anything!?

I am feeling super anxious and worn out today. I just want this to all end. I want to be free again. Lord Help ME!!!!

OK, here's my contribution for the day!

Mom will eat (veg usually with her fingers), two minutes later 'i'm so full, I think I'm going to burst' then two minutes later she's eating again, then its another 'i'm so full I'm going to burst' and then after evening meal she's off to bed. Tonight she's gone to be three times from 7:15 to 7:30 and five minutes later she's back out to tell me she's going to bed. This is from a lady who always used to stay up to watch the 10PM news.

Might be a long night!

quote:

Originally posted by JeannieW:
Ok everyone it's my turn to vent the annoying things mom does...
One is she has to go check to see if my husbands laundry is dry yet and only his laundry,every three minuets. But she doesn't ever wash her own laundry!

She covers up her food with a kleenex when she can't eat anymore. Then ten minuet later she's starving and doesn't remember that she just ate! She always leaves food that she has chewed up on the side of her plate, like tomato skins or the end of french fries or just anything... annoying!

When I choose to tell her something that I think she will be able to enjoy with out getting agitated about.... she says "what did you say? I couldn't hear you?" 3 times in a row! OMGOSH! why do I bother telling her anything!?

she has to pick every single little zit on her body! She has picked everything so much that she has made lumps of scar tissue all over her arms and legs and her back. She says to me "one of these days I'm gonna get a knife and SLICE THIS OFF!" I tell her over and over that if she just stopped picking herself it would heal up, but she never stops picking! It's gross, all of her clothes have permanent blood stains on them!

I am feeling super anxious and worn out today. I just want this to all end. I want to be free again. Lord Help ME!!!!

quote:

Originally posted by Ursillybean:
I'm with you Lily!!! Mom TAKES napkins, huge wads of napkins from resturants and they are everywhere! She will also rip the paper towels into individual sheets and lay them out on the counter...I can never tell if they were used for anything so I error on the side of clean living and throw them away. She will also take the dirty dishes out of the sink, wipe them off and then put them away.....unwashed. Fun times but I look at it this way, I probably did stuff like that as a kid and I guess it's my turn for pay back. Not that it helps when I'm picking them up and she's stomping around in the other room because i'm picking them up.

this is mom's regular habit. i have to watch her close. it amazes me how it happens. when did she put this egg filled plate in here?

It use to be constantly pacing, pacing, pacing. In and out the door, leaving the door open. I had to walk around with a fly swatter. Tissues and toilet paper everywhere. Last year I thought I would lose my mind, now she can't walk around as well and it is (sadly) a relief. She does the spitting thing with the grape skins,etc. The worst thing now is the constant scratching and the hand in the pants.

My MIL constantly sucks her teeth - ALL the time. It drove me crazy BEFORE the AD kicked in, now she does it ALL DAY and until she falls asleep.

She also can't follow simple directions now - and if we have to tell her something more than once - she yells at us "I'M LISTENING" - as she continues to do whatever it is she is doing!!

She will wrap up the clean laundry into what I call "hobo sacks" and try to stuff it into her purse to take home. 'Cause EVERYTHING is hers and she's taking it "hone"........

Since I have a minute to vent and do need a GOOD release. It's the tearing up of her food, with her hands, covering it with the dirty napkin and taking it to her room for her FAT dog who can barely walk she's so fat. As I have told my mom I would feed her dog for her since she can't remember when she fed her last, but it doesn't control the 'people' food stashed in her room for the dog. I really need to get a grip on this before I get bugs in my house, huh?

Mom is always cold anymore so she always has socks on her feet. If she doesn't wear any during the day, she always puts them on at night. Then she will rub her feet together, rub, rub, rub, rub, rub. She will go on for hours and not even realize it (she always did it, but now you can't say anything). The sound of the fabric rubbing together is enough to drive a person mad.

I shouldn't complain – this may be a sign from above – but my Mom has taken to carrying her Rosary beads in her sweater pocket and fiddling with them with her hand all day.

I know it is an obsessive, nervous tick and it could be something a whole lot worse, but it is like having cat with a bell around its neck. I always know here she is, but I am about to jump out of my skin.

I wonder how quickly I could whip up a set of beads made of cotton thread?

well this weekend I took care of my mom who has AD it's always my step father but I wanted to give him a break, all my mom kept doing was telling me to talk low because the people behind the door will come out and get us. she kept saying to lock all the doors, and get a baseball bat to hit them, she must of went on for hours. Then she wanted me with her all the time, if I had to use the bathroom she would go in there with me. She drove me crazy!

My dad keeps about 10 quarters in his pocket every day...whenever he is standing or walking he rattles them in his pocket and let me tell you listening to that change shake in his pocket it enough to put me over the edge!

Oh wow. I just had to laugh while reading some of the posts. Mom has so many strange behaviors. Because of bad feet she wears the shoes with the velcro and she also does the open, close, open, close routine. Let me list others:

She insists she "needs" a ton of kleenex and has wads of it spread all over the house, especially at the dinner table where she ends up with her "ready" pile and her "used" pile.

Also related to the kleenex issue, she won't wear any clothes that don't have pockets (of course to put the kleenex in). She has many nice clothes, but not all have pockets, so many of them sit in her closet.

She wants to have coffee and have it warm, which is fine, but she will work on the same cup of coffee for three meals. She will take a sip, maybe two, then let it sit until its cold then yell at me to warm it up for her. I end up rewarming that same cup ten to twelve times a day.

She insists she needs to have more than just an incontinence pad in her underwear during the day, so she has the pad, an old washcloth and about three or four squares of toilet paper. I've tried to get her to wear the underwear type during the day, but she throws tantrums if I insist on that. Everything gets soaked and the TP squares end up somewhere on the floor for me to pick up.

Up until the last two years she collected and put into boxes and files every receipt and paper thing she received. I've started going through some of these and found she's got receipts and things from up to sixty years ago. The IRS doesn't even go back that far. So I bought a shredder and am now getting rid of the excess papers.

Some of her habits drive me crazy, but I know I'm not alone.

That Velcro shoe thing would drive me over the edge!

My mother picks at the skin on her face and scalp til it bleeds. She constantly winces and makes noises as if she has pain here and there (rarely the same place) but exams, CT scans, and tests have found nothing. She too feeds their dog constantly and is constantly calling the dog's name. And the worst... she's always cold. This week it was 100 degrees where she lives and she sat complaining about being cold, asked us to turn off the cooler (they have no a/c) and kept herself covered in blankets.

Has anyone else seen the scratching/skin picking? I worry about an infection developing.

I wish my Jeanne were still here to drive me crazy. Crazy in love. --Jim

Another one to add to the list of the nails on the chalk board from our ancient toddlers...
Slurrrping..any thing she eats with a spoon is slurpped..
This is actually a kinda of funny thread when you read the behaviors and the similarities of our LO's..
Jim in no way was this intended to hurt you in any way..please accept my apologies if I did hurt you. I am sure when that time comes for my mom that I were wishing to hear her little obsessive idiosyncricies(sp)..just looking for a little light heartedness here in our world of AD

Our little 40 year old DS/AD sweetheart.....

- Visits the clock 50 times a day to see what day of the week it is and if it is time to eat or snack. If the clock in her room doesn't match our clock in the living room, she panics

- Brushes her teeth every time she eats something (sometimes before she eats) and uses loads of toothpaste on her toothbrush. Therefore we have toothpaste on the countertop, cupboards, mirror, wall, handtowels, floor, her clothing, in her hair, doorknobs, bathtub, toilet and even the bathroom ceiling. Don't ask me how it gets there...we haven't figured that one out yet

- Has a habit of visiting her AD mother (especially when mom is napping) to tell her something and will say "right" until she gets an answer. This can happen a million times a day. Usually mom just answers "right" back as we do whether we understand her or not because she is happy and goes back to her room

- Gets yogurt all over her DVDs no matter how many time you tell her it will ruin them. Also plays with the buttons on the TV/DVD player until it is so messed up we can't figure out what the she did and it takes us forever to get it running again. No use trying to get her to stop it.... Not within her capability.

I have said enough for now...we love her bunches. I just drives us nuts

I am new here desperately seeking info on AD. My mother is 86 and she is driving me crazy.....my nerves are shot! Here are just a few of her behaviors that drive me insane:

• wears her wallet tied around her neck or waist with yarn -- so no one can steal her info including an expired driver's license!
  
• packs all her belongings including clothes in plastic grocery bags--she is moving "up north going home".
• picks her face into open sores--has "metal balls with spurs" in her skin, now it is worms!
• refuses to take any medication (needs to be on coumadin for another 4 mos due to pulmonary embolisms "PE") she puts meds in her mouth then spits them out when you aren't looking---NOTHING is WRONG WITH HER!
• Delusions---of people coming to her - "going through her rectum and pulling on her heart cords" All her food has lard put in it by a man who is temporarily staying at the house. "He is poisoning me!"
• refuses to bathe and change clothes
• She thinks her hair should be all white (she has very little gray) - pulls it out by combing it and saves it in a ball to "make a bun with the old way"
• Tries to hide everything that is given to her - "because the kids will steal it during the night"
• Refuses to wear her glasses because they belong to an old man -hers was "stomped and crushed by those mean kids".

Oh my, I could go on forever but those are just a few that come to mind right now. She was hospitalized in Mar for a PE then rehab to a NH in which she did really well (or so I thought) she at least knew me again. She was home ONE week admitted to hospital again for lung congestion and severe dementia. I now have her in another NH for rehab (?) she told the new DR last night that I am "no relation to her, I live across the street and have to be top dog having my nose stuck in everything." I was there only to bring her clothes.

So needless to say I am now faced with the decision of whether to bring her home or apply for long-term care.

Thank you to everyone for posting on this site it has helped me come to terms with her condition. It has relieved some of the utter despair not knowing what to expect next....nothing suprises me now.

Yes!
My mom has a catheter in and she can still feel when she goes. She vocalizes everytime; makes a sucking-in or moaning sound and when I ask her if it hurts she says "I just tinkled." I try and ignore her noise making now but still want to make sure she's alright. Have cheked for UTI - she's ok. [I just think it's weird she is still aware. We had the catheter put in when she could no longer sleep through the night but for becoming so wet they (ALF) had to get her up a couple of times and change her and the sheets. She sleeps much better now.]

quote:

Originally posted by MsDownshift:
So needless to say I am now faced with the decision of whether to bring her home or apply for long-term care.

My first thought...it is time to consider long-term-care for mom or you will soon be needing it yourself woman. You can only do so much by yourself and then you will burn out. If there is no other help available for you, you really have no other choice...and please do not put a guilt trip on yourself. You can best serve mom by staying sane

God Bless....

MsDownshift...I agree with Caralot, please consider what is best for BOTH of you. Keep coming back to this site, it is extremely therapeutic and helpful.

Mari

So many small things that are so hard to ignore. So many things I have to do for her and no visible appreciation or aknowledgement. Slurping, yes. Going up to total strangers in restaurants after we eat (eating out gets harder every day) and telling them whatever strange thought she has going. Yes, I love her. Yes, she drives me crazy without even trying Sounds like a bad relationship with someone you're getting ready to dump. She tapes the curtains shut at night to "keep out the light" and so no one can steal. Covers her chair. Dog issues as well. Overfills his water till it runs all over the floor. Won't take him out in the rain because "he doesn't like it". She often says the dog doesn't like something or is lonely or other emotions when she is feeling that way and cannot somehow express it. Not flushing, yes. Not bathing. Wouldn't wash her hair except I take her to the same hairdresser every 2 weeks for her grey. Wears the same clothes 4 - 5 days at a time regardless of the weather. Repeats everything over an over again. Has lately been singing to people in public. Shave and a haircut two bits. She's stuck on rewind and me with her. Soon I'll need to move her to assisted living. Hopefully she can adjust.I'm not sure I can. As they say, can't live with or without them. We love, we care, and we miss the person she was. At least before we had a good relationship. My heart goes out to you out there who have to take care of someone who never really took care of you.
Hang in there troops. you are not alone, and yes, they do the darndest things. Over and over and over again'
devon

I just promised myself I will read this thread every time I think I want to bring my mom home again to live with me and my family. (She is currently in a alzhiemers care facility.)