My mother has been hard of hearing and in early June had a bout of complete deafness, but then seemed to hear, not well, but was responsive. We, more or less, communicated.

Today I called out very loudly and there was no reaction. I tested this many times standing out of sight and very loudly calling out to her, and nothing. She could not hear at all. No flinch. Nothing. At one point I shouted directly into each ear and she didn't hear.

Communication has been hard because of the dementia, but at least I could call out MOTHER or her name and she would stop and look at me. Now I can't get her attention in an emergency or when she is about to do something potentially dangerous or destructive. She's so fast and into everything that not being able to get her attention is frightening.

If anyone else has dealt with this and has any tips? Miming has not been working very well.

Just an example, I used to be able to give her Lactulose by saying "just one more little one and that's all" when she would say "NO" and she would relent and take it. But not hearing she just pushes it away and the goo spills. There's no way to calm her because she's not hearing words or tone.

I don't know if this has anything to do with this.But I just brought my mom to the Audiologist today because she lost her hearing aid. when they did the test the woman was very courious about the results. her hearing had decreased but what she had noticed mostly was the mixing up of the words that she asked her to repeat.. She got them wrong or didn't have a response. She knew she heard it because she could hear her trying to say a word slighty. I asked her if it could have something to do with her dementia. Whether the part of the brain that was affected could be interfering with this. She is looking into the answer and calling me she said that is not her area of expertice..

I'm betting that depending on where the dementia is located in the brain it could have to do with how they hear and respond to words. She may be hearing you just not understanding. Still that is a hard step down to take. So I wish you luck...

Thanks, Carrie. It did occur to me that she was not understanding, that's why I sneaked behind her and did the loud yells to look for some physical reaction--a flinch or slight turn of the head, something, anything--but there was nothing.

She's jabbering away and I'm trying to respond. If her eyes are already on me she smiles and will say something (not something that will make sense to me, but she responds). If her eyes are not already on me, she does not look or react in any way.

I'm sorry your mom and you are going through this. If you have a chance to post what the audiologist discovers, I would be very interested. Thanks for the reply and info.

As an audiologist, I can hopefully answer you. Sometimes the hearing doesn't change, but the central processing does. You can hear one thing but process it as something else. Often you can hear speech, but it is totally garbled. Unfortunately hearing aids don't help with this, and often make the "hearing" worse.

What's confusing to me though, would this also cause a loss of a startle response when there's a sudden loud noise behind them that they do not see or expect?

Thanks, Marjk!

Thank you also Marjk. That answers alot. That could be why she really wasn't hearing even with her old hearing aid? She kept saying it wasn't working. The Audiologist is going to set up a meeting with the ENT for me to answer some of my questions. She is new and didn't feel comfortable answering that.

Do you know if this could have to do do with the dementia and the part of the brain it is affecting? Or can the central Processing change that much on its own? I have two kids on IEP's at school with Processing issues One has problems hearing certain tones which they have worked on very successfully. She is tone deaf as Heck.. LOL but her reading and comprehending has grown substantially. I do know a bit about the processing part. That is why I was wondering if the demenetia is doing it.. and mymom.. I remember my grandfather being like that But the dr. said his hearing was fine so maybe the conections don't make to the brain at certain times. They could need to be totally focused?

Good luck I'll be very interested to see where these all turn out.. This is all so interesting to me to see how people are just so different.

Processing gets harder in general as we age. That's why it gets harder to hear when there is background noise, even if the hearing is fine. It does also have a lot to do with which part of the brain is affected and we all know with dementia, the brain IS affected. The organ of hearing is in the temporal lobe. When I see patients who's speech discrimination has deteriorated, I refer to an ENT immediately to rule out other causes. There are two parts to hearing, cochlear and retrocochlear. The retrocochlear part has to do with the brain. The startle response can diminish as well, which is a sign of a central pathology.

Another issue with dementia patients is hyperacusis, where sounds seem too loud. Right now my mother is dealing with it. Any little sound makes her jump and gets her agitated. She screams if the phone rings.

Central processing issues in children are a challenge. Therapy works wonders, but unfortunately children are so often misdiagnosed as having ADD that they don't get the proper therapy. The earlier the intervention, the better the children do. Reading comprehension usually is a big issue with CAPD's in children and with therapy, the reading comprehension usually improves significantly.

Never mind. She finally flat out told me she can't hear anything when I was repeating it's "Sobota" thinking she might be able to lip read.

I typed it in large letters on the screen and she was able to read it and seemed to understand. She can't read in general but can get some words.

She's keeps asking "where am I?" and is highly agitated. I wonder what soothing words of comfort to offer now.

Thanks so much to both of you for your replies and help.

Processing what you read and what you hear are two different things. I'm not saying that she's not very hard of hearing.

One thing you can try is a pocket talker. It's headphones and a mic in a little box. This way the mic can pick up what you say and you don't have to scream all the time. It's not perfect, but it can be a huge help. Radio Shack has similar items and they are a thousand times cheaper than hearing aids.

https://www.audiolinks.com/cat...propocketalkerultra/

This is what they look like.

you could see if she responds to a loud noise--a whistle, a horn (try different frequencies)--to check whether the issue is hearing or understanding.

When she asks where she is, try seeing her as your baby, "With me, with your family, with love, with love everywhere" or with a song "You are here with me and I love you so"
Keep the language very simple and perhaps perhaps you can comfort her--with your eyes and body language if not with voice... We don't expect babies to understand the words, but we still croon to them and hold them.

I gave up the yelling and banging tests. Thank you for the link, Marjk. For some reason my mother will not let me place earphones on her. Hates/fears gadgets. Even early in her illness I asked her permission before trying to place some of the light, soft earphones on her, but she went berserk and yelled at me to get them away from her. It would be a great thing to try if not for the dementia.

Brightwings, I've told my mom I love her and the usual response is revulsion from her. She ain't no baby, lol. My approach has been begging and pleading and trying to be an adequate lowly servant since actually pleasing her will never happen; not provoking her wrath is the best I hope for.

Yep, I hear you about your mom refusing any gadget. I would never in a million years be able to get my mom to use one either. Forget about if my mother ever needs a hearing aid. She would NEVER let anyone put something in her ear, on her, around her, etc...

MM
Sorry, my momma's at the sweet baby stage. IT's easy to forget how different each stage/each person's journey is...

You asked how to comfort her, how to get her attention-- I suspect a local school for the deaf can provide suggestions. They've had to develop methods to get students' attention (esp students who are also developmentally delayed).

For comfort: Sight (a red flag to wave? flowers?), touch (soft robes, stuffed animals?), taste (icecream!), smell (I remember reading years ago that some alz patients responded to different aromas-- others can't smell).

A college teacher I know passes out chinese ginger candies half way through her four hour class-- the taste wakes the students up!

Dear Brightwings, if I came across as an ungrateful snot, I'm sorry! Didn't mean it that way at all. You provide so much good info on the forum, I was grateful for your reply.

I asked for tips, and you were good enough to provide many. Thank you!

Any idea when I can expect the sweet baby stage to happen? My mom's dementia began in 2000.

I was wondering if that was really a euphemism for the end/dying stage. Now I'm worrying about that since hospice gives ativan and morphine and my mother has paradoxical reactions to both.

Thanks.

MM
Hospice won't give your mother morphine and ativan if you tell them about her paradoxical reactions. The hospice will work with you to find alternate meds. It's not a "one size fits all" process.
Also since their meds come in liquid and dropper form, they start with the tiniest dosage (the liquids are dropped in her cheek) and observe whether it's effective.

Yes sweet baby stage for us is hospice stage-- all of my mother's life has been erased. (Bledsoe posted an article yesterday that shares my experience of the disease.)

My mother now likes music, dancing, food, pretty colors, sunshine, children, kindness--things in the present moment...she doesn't seem to often have memories of her parents or her own specific life. A friend's mother (who'd always been a difficult women) just sang through through the last stage,never opening her eyes.

Impossible to know how long this disease lasts...or when or if or how any individual will reach a specific stage. or how long any stage will last... What has your experience been?

Brightwings, I typed a really long detailed response earlier, and it vanished with an error message.

I took that as a sign to get out of Dodge. Especially since I'm literally running after my mother since she can't respond to my voice.

Thx for your replies. May your sweet mom continue to be at peace. And you.

I are stupid. I have been trying to mime, mouth, gesture and draw therapeutic fibs all day. Sundowning usually starts around 11a. Where am I..Who am I..Where's Z (dead sister WWII)..Take me home now..What I am..Where am I going..What is happening (head)..I don't know anything..What's wrong with me?

I kept trying as long as she kept asking because she was getting more and more agitated. Hugs not welcome.

She naturally couldn't understand that no matter how much I tried to answer, she was deaf, and the questions never stopped. She's frightened and knows something terrible is happening to her, but can't seem to put it together.

Just when I was relearning to understand some things without her dentures, boom, she's deaf. She wanted her teeth back but as always was terrified at the sight of dentures and pushed them away.

If your ADLO can hear your voice, its tone, its emotion, its urgency, whatever. It's a great gift. Not to mention the sounds of the world to help make some sense to them and perhaps enjoyment.

Physical caregiving became dead weight plus resistance because she couldn't hear. The simple requests and tone which were an assist, gone.

I'm talking to myself and not seeking any response.

Just waiting for Satan to return my call.
I'm ready to deal.

Alzheimer's Foundation of America: Symptoms

Agnosia is an individual's inability to correctly interpret signals from their five senses. Individuals with Alzheimer's disease may not recognize familiar people and objects. A common yet often unrecognized agnosia is the inability to appropriately perceive visceral, or internal, information such as a full bladder or chest pain.

She's stone deaf. I've tried everything short of shooting a 38 caliber behind her head.

Mymom, just interested in knowing what the doctor said in June when she had her episode of complete deafness. I can't tell you how many times I have seen these sudden cases of deafness and it turned out to be massive amounts of wax in the ear, foreign objects in the ear, or fluid behind the eardrum.

Now of course if your mother is in the stage that is anything like the one my mom is in, no one is going to be able to get close enough to actually look in the ear, but it's a good start.

Mymom try playing music that she would like...fun tunes.

You wrote about sneaking up behind her and making noise to see a reaction and there was none. A friend of mine would do that to her toddler because she knew something was wrong and thought that the child was deaf. He wasn't, he had autisim and had not been diagnosed at that time.

Also buy a small write-on wipe-off board with dry-erase pens....that is if she can read.

My mom has agnosia and will not respond for several times or at all. But I play music for her and she is able to hear it. Music effects another part of the brain, so if words are not processing, music might.

She has not been responsive to music for several years. I tried very hard to get her something to enjoy and found music CDs and videos from the culture/language of her youth.
It was sad, but she was simply not responsive to any music.

I'd put the Lawrence Welk Show on with the music, dancing, colorful costumes, and try to enjoy it with her, but she would generally ignore it and look at the floor or wall or some other odd reaction.

I tried putting a single earbud up to her good ear with loud music yesterday, but she indicated she heard nothing.

My last attempt was a couple songs if I would start singing she would join me. I tried singing with her today but stopped because she looked so upset and told me she couldn't hear.

I've been writing on pads and the computer screen desperately trying to communicate. Although she read some words, she was not understanding enough that I could say we communicated.

Appreciate the suggestions, Anita. Thank you.

Hi, Marjk. I didn't scroll enough and missed your post.

In June the geriatrician didn't bother to check my mother. He pawned her off on the PA while he hung out at the front desk chatting with the gals about getting the hospital to not call him in the evening.

The PA was able to clean her right ear, but when my mom became agitated and loud she said that was good enough.

A day or so afterwards I called out "Mama" with my back to her and almost fainted when she answered me. Then I hugged her and happy danced and cried and we've been able to communicate (more or less with the dementia).

mymom

I am sorry I don't have any suggestions. I just wanted to let you know that my heart is breaking for you and your mother. I am so very very sorry.

It occured to me that you might benefit from one-on-one rehabilitation (so to speak) with a speech/language therapist who can devise a signing system for use with your hearing-impaired AD mother. Since she is still ambulatory you need to be able to communicate with her. You will need the doctor or the PA to prescribe. Perhaps the Alzheimer's Association Helpline can help you.

Iris L.

mymom,
along the same line as Iris...when I worked in a NH one of clients was very hard of hearing and had lost both hearing aids...they did what Iris suggested...teaching her simple signs so she could communicate but her AD wasn't as advanced at your moms...at least I don't think it was.

For it to work your mom would still have to be able to make eye contact. You've already said that miming isnt' working so I doubt signing would work...
Does your mom still make eye contact? My MIL seems to have stopped being able to...or isn't able to decipher who or what is talking to her most of the time, so I don't think sign language would work for her either. and miming has pretty muched stopped working for us...that really makes showering much harder. Right now I have to repeat and repeat and repeat simple commands... I can see in the days ahead MIL will get to the point where there will be absolutley no understanding.

I wish there were some answers for you and your mom...when MIL and my days are bad I often think of you two and know it could be much worse.

AHA! I bet her ears are completely occluded with wax!!!!!!!!!!! If she lets you, try putting some debrox drops in her ears, it's over the counter eardrops to loosen up earwax, hopefully help the wax to come out on it's own. When I reread your original post about complete deafness, then came back, then out again, I knew it had to be wax.

BTW, I personally like PA's better for things like wax removal. Try, try, try again. Do drops first for a week, bring her back for wax removal. I bet it will come right out and easily.

Good morning. Rube, you've got me crying. Thanks for everyone's kindness.

Iris and Nessa, my mother can't learn. She has zero short-term memory and focus. So much energy but unable to focus it. She won't/can't do anything repetitive and doesn't understand.

She's been quite strong and steady on her feet and I would try to get her to rake leaves or water the yard (back in 2006) thinking it would free me up to work. But she would swipe the rake a couple times and say "okay, now what?". Same with the hose. She's strong, but held it limply and sprinkled for a couple seconds and "okay, all done, what should I do now?". That's pretty much every activity--a couple seconds and what should she do now.

She will make eye contact, but will not sit still for anyone. When we go to the doctor's office it will be maybe a minute at the most and she'll demand to leave and think she's been waiting for hours. I can see her jumping out of her skin. The hospital restrains her either with straps or chemically because she will not stay in bed and is combative (afraid).

So, yes Nessa, she is too advanced for learning signing. When I said we communicated when she could hear, it was not normal conversation, although every now and then she would surprise me. But tone of voice and knowing a word here and there or what was meant.

She's silent now sitting next to me after breakfast. It is frightening for me to see this loss. But I wanted her to stop the constant questioning and jabbering that was nonstop and I couldn't understand, but not this. Not deaf and silent.

Guess I have to learn to deal with it. Getting her cleaned up this morning without her hearing me was a major battle. It was always a battle, but that much harder when I can't coax and cajole and the occasional attempt to sternly (ha ha) achieve compliance.

Just saw your post, Marjk. There is no way in hades that I could get drops into her ears. I'm trying to find my old ENT and will attempt to get her there if he'll agree to try since she'll be very loud and combative. I don't think the PA would give it another shot. We were pushed out pretty quickly after one ear when my mom became agitated and loud.

Have you tried putting some Rescue Remedy in water for her to drink before you have to embark on one of the sojurns?? It might help calm her down a bit, any health food store should have it. I can't imagine what it must be like to have a possible "simple" solution to her problem that can't be utilized. I think in order to get her hearing back (since that's soooo important) I'd even try whatever medications they suggest for a "chemical restraint." I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.
Marie

Your situation is Too hard, too hard... please take care of yourself.

another idea-- ( please take this just as an offering, a possibility--at some point I know it has to be "accept the things I cannot change.")

My mother also had negative reactions to many drugs. We did have success with a teeny tiny dose of celexa (5mg twice a day) to calm her anxiety and agitation...
(and of course I have my small pill as well!)

(Hospice gave me an aide to wash, dress and feed mama in morning. I thought at first I didn't need her but what a blessing she's been...)

take whatever helps and ignore the rest!

Looks like Satan returned my call shortly after posting this morning. Out of the blue my mother could hear me, same thing that happened in June. She completely snapped back to her previous self.

Nonstop questioning that I couldn't understand and grabbing at everything, sitting on the urine-soaked bed that I was trying to strip, taking her chair cushion to throw away. I was so happy and we played the HELLLOOOOOO game. She told me "he" (me) was stupid. She's back!

The awful part is that after about an hour or so I started pouring sweat and got a little overwhelmed and wished she would back off a bit so I could take care of at least a few necessary things. Then that thought made me feel guilty.

Marjk, I'll look for the debrox today and try to get drops in her ears. Thank you. Still trying to get an appointment with the ENT to get some answers if possible. (I lost hearing about a decade ago on one side but the cause was never determined. Hearing returned eventually and I was left with tinnitus.)

LittleRed, I did try the Rescue Remedy and quite a few others (e.g., Calms Forte?) of the herbals both for my mother and myself, but didn't work.

Brightwings, my mother has been on Celexa, Zoloft, many antipsychotics, Remeron, Depakote, the benzodiazepines and a few other meds. She became suicidal on both Celexa and Zoloft and had increased anxiety. The only thing that provides brief relief is the trazodone. I was concerned because that showed up as being ototoxic, as well as the Lopressor she takes, but then so is aspirin and so many drugs. Something I will ask the ENT about.

Sorry for being the boy (old lady) who cried wolf . I'm very grateful for so much support and all suggestions and will report what happens if I'm able to get her through an ENT exam.

MM
I just was reading about frontotemporal dementia (FTD) and wondered if your mother had been diagnosed with this or with alzheimer's.
Some of the symptoms you've mentioned-- the pacing, the anger,etc. can be part of FTD
(which then contraindicates Aricept).
Johanna's mother had FTD so she had many informative postings about it.

Ahh, I just want your situation to be easier... I'm probably grasping at straws...

I wish I had better answers for you too. I'm also dealing with a mother who is in the aggressive, agitated, paranoid, delusional stage of the disease. She actually bit someone at her ALF last week. I was sure she was going to get kicked out. I will swear my mother has FTD as opposed to Alzheimer's, but they keep saying Alzheimer's. I can't even understand my mother anymore when she speaks, unless she's yelling at me. AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I feel you Mymom, I really do. Does she let you trim her fingernails and toenails? HA HA HA, that's impossible for us, but it needs to be done. I can't even imagine trying to put ear drops into my mother's ears.

Everything about this disease sucks!

When I had my pediatrics practice for impacted ear wax I would prescribe Debrox 4 drops 4 times a day in each ear for 4 days. That would soften up the wax so it could be flushed with a mixture of half and half water and hydrogen peroxide. In many cases the Debrox alone was sufficient to soften the wax enough for it to dissolve.

If an instrument is needed to remove some pieces of wax a pediatric sized loop can be used gently in the ear canal if the adult sized one is too big.

Iris L.

Hi. Yes, I would swear she had FTD too. The neuro who diagnosed her just asked a few questions, tested her reflexes and had her walk, said she didn't have Parkinson's or Lewy Body, and then dx'd Alzheimer's. She had a frontal lobe stroke, probably in the hospital after heart surgery because at first she was mentally ok but by the time we left she had trouble finding words and recognizing the familiar started. She's been agitated ever since growing to aggressive and destructive, but so darn good at masking for others.

I had an appointment for Friday at the ENT but her behavior has been so combative, alternating with sweet (those cherished times when the trazodone works). The appointment is now next week. I'm hoping to do one or two fingernails and toes a day. But she screams that it hurts and jerks away, as with the wisp of hair I snipped that was sticking out, and she needs a full head haircut. The delicate light foam to clean her hair is also cold and hurts. This is evil, but when she still wore dentures she started to bite down her fingernails and I was only sorry she couldn't reach her toes. Same here in that I can't understand her most of the time and she "talks" with a question mark until my head throbs, but she manages just fine when cussing me out. But her poor head throbs too.

The other night was an all nighter with urine and stool. She urinates so much (the hospital said no UTI and she was not dehydrated, go figure) we battled to get her out of soaked clothes as she yelled then pushed her way towards the hall, stood and urinated some more, then made a nice pee trail and fought me when I tried to get off the wet slippers. Then later went completely berserk pulling stool out of herself, smearing everywhere, pushing it in my face and yelling "look! look!" and "you! you!" thinking I've done this to her. She is ill intestinally and the whole elimination process is painful and distressing. She hit kicked and gummed me while yelling bloody murder. So I spent the night scrubbing and sniffing/searching out feces/urine and doing loads of laundry. My mom slept a couple hours and was totally refreshed and then came on gangbusters all day.

At one point she said she couldn't see. I was ready to rush to the hospital, but she had a moment of verbal clarity and explained she could see but didn't know what anything was. I knew this but it was hard to hear her express it with such awareness and misery.

This morning again I prepared to rush her to the hospital because she looked and acted as if she was dying, was so very anxious and clacking her mouth. She responded yes to pain. Didn't know where it hurt but her hands were on her bloated belly. Yes to very nervous. Was okay after her meds except for her head bothering her. She now likes ice cream again and everything was okay while she was eating ice cream.

So with some luck the ENT will be Wed. They said they can handle feisty. I don't know if they duct tape the feisty patient to the wall or what. It will be interesting.

Thank you all for your comments and thoughts.

Marjk, I hope your grade surprises you in a good way on the neuroanatomy exam. Yikes.