My daughter and I went to my parents this past week and stayed for 4 days. I was shocked to see how much worse Daddy had gotten since I was last home. Money is tight so we can't afford to go all that often. Daddy is so thin. When i went into the bedroom to tell him Hi, Mama said to Daddy, "See, I told you we were going to have company" Daddy looked at me and I said "Hi, Daddy" and he said "Hi, Liss." (His nickname for me). I was shocked at how he looked. He started to cry right away, and of course that freaks me out. (Daddy doesn't cry-EVER) He has been bedridden for more than a year now, still eats well, I fed him almost all his meals when I was there. His body is obviously not processing the nutrients because he is just about skin over bones. I don't know how Mama is handling everything, her nerves have to be about shot, but she is hanging in there. Hospice comes 2 or 3 times a week and Mama has part time help that comes in to help her, all very nice ladies. I helped move him in the bed some, (he has to be turned every 2 hours), but I couldn't wash him, at least not his private areas(call me a wimp if you want-I just can't do it)My sister said " Oh, sure you can! but no, I can't. I feel bad about it, but I just can't make myself do it. He is very stiff and I think it hurts him to be moved, he only seems to be able to move his arms voluntarily, maybe his legs a little bit.
Mama told me that I was the first person he had called by name in months. I feel so weird about all this, maybe I am just writing this to get it straight in my own head. I don't know. All I know is that this disease is the worst thing ever.

horselover, I so agree with you about this disease. Please always turn to us for care in a time when you are reeling from the impact you have undergone by seeing your dad. Isn't it wonderful when they say your name and it has not been used in a while. Hold those moments near to your heart. Please let us know how your dear mother holds up as this is so hard for spouse to watch the love of their life "go away". I lift you up to God for peace and support.
Sheryl

How nice that he remembered your name. Tuck that precious memory away for the long haul.

Don't let your sister shame you about not washing him. If you're not comfortable, he wouldn't be comfortable. In some cases, I think such intimate care is easier to receive from a stranger. Mom was always much more comfortable with an aide bathing her than my dad.