I set here my mind racing in utter fatigue wondering what today will bring. Just got my son off to school and now it is me and the house chores for about an hour until I leave for volunteering at the local nursing home for a couple of hours. Then it is back home to finish where I left off if the energy is there. My mind is tired, my body is tired and I have yet to begin, all just rambling thoughts of what is to be. Maybe I am tired of doing the same monotanous things over for so many years, could that be it? Or maybe the disease is starting to get ahead of me in the race. Whatever it is, it is taking my conversation ability as well as any hobbies of enjoyment that were always dear to me away. How long can a person struggle like this? From what I know it can be years or if you are lucky it will only be a short time. But wait, I have a 15 year old! He knows that he is losing me as I saw written in one of his freshmen english papers. That broke my heart. He isn't ready for me to go and neither am I. I have to fix this, it just isn't right, but what can I do, I don;t have a choice. Is time slowly calling me or am I tired and giving in? I would never give up on my son, so it has to be time. I have much yet left to do, I have to be here for him and watch him grow up as he is a young man but yet still a boy in many ways. Please Father, give me the strength to carry on as I am not ready nor willing as I have yet too much to do.

Tracy

Tracy, please know that my prayers are joining yours. I pray for a peaceful day for you, a day that you will feel the strength we know lives in you, a day that you can feel that God carries you with every step you take, a day to let you rest from the worry and the stress, a day to feel the warmth of the sun, hug your precious son and just breathe. I am praying for these things for you today.

Hi Tracy,
I'm 43 and my Mom is 74 stage 5/6. I am terrified at the thought of EOAD. 50% is not a good statistic...especially when they really don't know.

I ordered your book last night after reading your other post. Even without reading this one yet I hope you are able to write another. You have a special insight to this horrid disease that noone else can really express. I try to talk to mom and she gets so frustrated because the words are not there...she has something to say though. I'm hoping that by reading your book I can get a better understanding of the other side.

Please don't give up on this site, your son and especially yourself...you really do have alot to offer.

Thx

Tracy,
May God grant your prayer. My "bad night" just paled so I must give thanks also. Words fail me, so please know that you and your family are cared for and will be lifted up.
Sheryl

Aww Tracy,,,you need to "shake it up and change it up" ,,you've fallen into what sounds more like the "daily doldrums" of the same old same old.

You're so right,,you have so much to do yet,,so much to fight for,,changing,,well maybe you are a little bit,,,but don't give in,,,you're so much more of a fighter than that.

Its ok to be tired sometimes,,its ok to not want to constantly do the same thing day in and day out,,so shake it up a bit.

What can I do to help?? Hugs & Peace

Tracy,

What you are going through sounds like depression. Please call your doctor and talk to him/her about trying some new meds.

I am not a person with dementia, but am dealing with my mother who is. Plus work, plus school, etc... There are many days that I feel EXACTLY the way you do, I just can't find the energy to do anything. The thought of getting up in the morning and going to work, the chores, etc... I have piles of things to do at home and I just don't feel like doing any of it.

It might not be depression, it might just be a slump. You are not alone, you have many people on here who support you, and possibly even feel the same way as you do.

Sending you positive thoughts and hugs.

Tracy it may mean that you just need more rest my friend! Take naps and get the rest you need in order to continue the fight. I think Raven is right as well, you may just need a break or to change things up as the same old same old can wear on a person.

Perhaps, do some things that are fun for a change, with your son. I wish mere thoughts could heal you for I would think you a river to drink deeply from so you would be restored anew.