Hi, My grandma has stage 7 AD and has been having crying fits every day at about 4pm. They last all evening until she cries herself to sleep. She asks for her parents and wants to be taken to them. There is no consoling her when this happens and she sometimes refuses to even eat. Does anyone have experience handling this sort of behavior. I don't know the right thing to say, as when we try to talk to her , she gets worse. Could it be that her anti depressant milligrams should be increased? Please help! It's heart breaking to watch her go through this....I feel so helpless.

HI Jessi,
My mom is only at about stage 5 + , but , she started having these crying fits last summer. I have sat with her for hours while she cried herself to sleep. Nothing I can do to comfort her will help. she also starts crying 4-5 o'clock in the evening.
Her doctor prescribed an increased dose of anti depressant, prozac, and it has seemed to descrease the days when she has these episodes and it has decreased the time that she has them.
It is heartbreaking, I was a wreck the first time I witnessed this. It really shook me up as my mom has never ever been a cryer.
Contact her doctor and see what he/she can reccomend. There might be a medication that can help. Mom's antidepressant was changed a couple of times before one was found to work.
joni ca.

Thank you so much. It really helps to talk to someone who shares similar experiences. I will talk to her Dr. tomorrow and see what happens. Hope your mom and you are well. =)

Hi Jessi,

Welcome to the boards, but I'm sorry you find yourself here. It sounds like your grandma is sundowning. Put "sundowning" into the purple find button at the top of this screen and you will find many posts about it. It's extremely common.

There are ways to reduce the agitation through environment changes (well lit room, minimizing glare by closing blinds and drapes, quiet soothing music, etc.) that are described almost anywhere in a google search. There are also medications available. Call her doctor ASAP. The combination of Risperdol and environment changes helped my mom tremendously.

Good luck.

Thanks a million Betsy! I am meeting with her Dr. today, and will most certainly mention Risperdol. I will research sundowning immediately. Thanks again =)

My Mom often cries as well. It is heartbreaking to witness as she was never one to cry. I have found that when she cries (must often when she is sundowning), that there is no way to comfort her. It is almost as if she goes to a place where I cannot follow. Mom is in stage 5 -6 of the disease. When she cries like this I will usually sit quietly with her; sometimes just holding her and stroking her hair or rubbing her shoulder. I tell her that I love her and try to be very gentle in everything that I do as she appears to be very fragile at these times. I usually leave after a time because she cannot articulate what is causing her so much pain and nothing that I do can stop her from crying. She has recently been put on the anti-depressant Trazadone to see if that, along with Ativan, will help her through these periods. If that doesn't work then the next step will be to put her on Risperdal. The psych nurse said that often the crying is caused by the confusion and inability to understand what is happening to them. I think that having Alzheimer's must be extremely frightening. I know that when Mom was in the earlier stages I could often see the fear in her eyes.

I hope that your grandma's doctor can find a medication or combination of meds to help her through this. I am praying that the new meds for Mom will help her as well.

Jessi:

A woman named Ruth at the Birchwood nursing home where my Jeanne stayed often called for her long dead parents. As if they were still alive. She did this almost every afternoon, shortly after lunch. Instead of taking a nap, she went on and on. Pleading for her mother to come and comfort her. Well, I'd go into Ruth's room. And I'd concoct a story. That I had just talked to her mother a little while ago, and that mom was going shopping, to buy a gift for Ruth. And that she'd be returning later this afternoon. And that she was coming with a surprise for Ruth. And I told Ruth how much her mother adored her. And this made Ruth happy. And I told Ruth to take a nap now, and that when she waked, her mother would probably be there. And Ruth dozed off. With a smile on her face. And I kept whispering to Ruth, "Rest now. Mom will be here soon." --Jim

LML....my thoughts and prayers are with you and your mom. It does in fact seem like my grandma is upset that she is confused and lost, as she offers no explanation to why she is crying.

Jim...thanks for the advice. I will try to tell her that her parents are on their way to pick her up...see if that calms her a little. I wonder if she is back in a time when she is very young and is crying for her parents, as a child would cry for its parents to come and get them. It's heart-wrenching!! =(

My mom wants her parents and her husband to come and stay with her, and she will cry for them, but I assure her that that "daddy" will here tomarrow. I am not sure whose daddy we are referring to but it comforts her.

Ok, so I assume then the best way to comfort them is to go along with what they believe is happening. Live in "their world."
Thanks vjh...

One truth that I have learned with this disease is that you have to be willing to live in their world because there is no way that they can function in ours. My mother often speaks of her mother and father as if they were alive and well. They have been dead 45 and 54 years, respectively. Whenever she mentions them, it is in the present tense. I just go along with her and we have conversations in which I learn new things about my grandparents all the time. Those memories are much more real to her than anything in this current day. If being in those memories brings her comfort, I have no problem going there with Mom. When she cries, actually weeps is a better term, I honestly think that she feels terribly lost and afraid. When she is in that place, there is nothing that brings her comfort - it is as if she does not hear or feel anything. It is so sad and my heart aches for her....

My mom is fixated on her mother (who had AD too, and who my mom cared for). When she was still at home she would be really stressed out say that she had to get home to her mother...that her mother would be looking for her. I would tell her that her mom knows she's here and that it's okay. This is a safe place and her mom is glad she's here with me.

Now that my mom is in SNF she has gravitated to recalling that her mother is/was sick. She'll say things like "is my mammy dead yet? she's very sick you know". When she asks me this I remind her gently that her mother passed 18 years ago. She accepts it and we move on.