Things are no better. We don't know what is going on with Mom's medicines, care, etc. Because Mom is a ward of the county because of one thief out of four siblings, they will not talk to us. The county is not providing us access or information.

Is it common when an Alz patient is sent to a nursing home for their medication list not to transfer and continue? And if not, no wonder Mom is such a mess! I was told this morning that Mom is now considered a fall risk...they found her in the floor, but they're not even sure she fell. However, she is now wearing a nigt time restraint.

God help me, if any of you know how to manage this and can give me a clue, I am listening. I'm not doing an adequate job of anything with this situation. All was okay until Mom had a rapid downward spiral and now, the county won't even talk about why they've placed Mom in a hell hole and they are ont giving us access to info that is critical to Mom's care.

I would love to become Mom's guardian; NOT conservator! I don't know how.

I hope this letter finds all doing well. Just speaking for myself, holiday weeks make me really nervous, lonely and sad...I am sorry for that. I am searching for answers and don't know what to do. I pray you are all doing well.

To become your mother's guardian or conservator, you need to retain an attorney. (The terms mean different things in different states. For example, what is considered a guardian in one state may be the conservator of the person in another state.)

Look for attorneys who are CERTIFIED and who specialize in conservatorships, guardianships, and trusts. Make appointments for initial consultations with two or three. Most attorneys will talk with you for a half-hour, or even an hour, without charging you. Have a list of your questions and concerns with you, to help you make the most of your time with the attorneys. You are under no obligation to retain an attorney unless and until you are confident you have found one who can communicate effectively with you, who you feel is qualified and competent, and who you feel can help you.

If you and your chosen attorney agree to move forward, your attorney will prepare a petition to the court. (This is probate court, not family court.) All of your mother's relatives will be notified of your petition (but not the details in it), to give them the opportunity to protest if they choose. They do NOT have to approve your petition, or respond in any way.

The court will assign an attorney to represent your mother; and also a court investigator. The investigator will talk with you, your mother (if possible), anyone who was notified of your petition, your mother's doctors, etc.; and then prepare a report for the court. You (and your mother or her attorney) will receive copies. The court (judge) will decide which, if any, of the investigator's recommendations to consider.

If the petition is not contested, then there is a hearing, and the court decides whether to grant your petition, and the specific authorities that you will have with regard to your mother.

If it is contested, then it takes longer. Anyone who protests your petition has to have his/her own attorney, file the appropriate papers with the court, and appear at the hearing to explain their objections in person. I believe that the court can decide whether to approve your petition anyway, or whether additional investigations and another hearing are needed.

I would talk first to the head social worker of the NH and then the Ombudsman, explaining the situation, asking for their suggestions of others you can speak with.

Is someone already appointed by the County as your mother's guardian? who supervises her case?

I can imagine that gaining conservatorship could be difficult if even one of the four siblings protests.

Susan
You didn't say if you already have DPOA if not then I agree you should contact the Ombudsman. If this NH is as bad as you say they should be able to do something about it. If necessary you can go to the state .Also this web page will explain the regulations both federal and state http:// www.nursing-home-abuse-resource.com/nursing_home_abuse/regulations.In
your case they may be breaking federal law .Hope you can get some help there is no excuse for poor treatment even if she is a ward of the county . State law trumps county and federal law trumps state . Also you said they are useing restraints and I'm pretty sure that is against the law also I know it is in the state of Iowa . Let us know how it's going there are people here who care . God Bless

Thank you for the legal information, assistance and gracious replies.

Unfortunately, I am not the DPOA. It is a complicated mess. The Public Administrator's office told us there was so much legal conflict with the one sibling, they had to hire an additional attorney just to deal with her actions.

The three remaining siblings (including me) concluded we were doing the right thing to let the PA take over guardianship/conservatorship in order to protect Mom from Kathy. There was not a major conflict until Mom got sick and was placed in a NH.

Our sister had been told she could only have supervised visits with Mom while she was still in assisted living. Now that Mom is in the NH, Kathy comes and goes as she pleases with the court's permission. This upsets me very much since the PA made it sound as though they would not allow it to happen. Are they allowing her to do so because Mom can no longer recall what Kathy did?

Since Mom became a ward of the court in early 2007, she is now on guardian representative #4. Is this a normal practice? I live in the state of Missouri. I thought once Mom was a ward of the court, we would be dealing with ONE guardian representative from the PA's office.

Susan, I don't know anything about wards of the court, but I do know that a guardianship or conservatorship is NOT irreversible -- they can be changed when and if needed. Talk with a good (REALLY good!) elder law attorney specializing in conservatorships, preferably one who deals in contested cases. I would think that, with the three of you siblings working together, you would be able to get the court to assign one or more of you as conservators. Generally speaking, the courts prefer to have family members care for their own. You are much better able to ensure that your LO is properly cared for.

Thank you so much for you input. And it all makes sense! The county does NOT care about Mom's care; that's a given. They're only concerned about her finances....and honestly, that is fine. I do not want that responsibility.

I have no money to fight this. But I will burn in hell before I allow my mother to be treated like garbage. How do I fight it without the money and power to do so?

Contact Adult Protective Services, and explain your situation. They should be able to refer you to an agency that has attorneys who do pro bono work.

Also talk with your local Alzheimer's Assn chapter, and see if they can give you a referral.

I suppose you fight it, Susan, by showing up every day. If that's possible. On the scene intervention when you don't think mom is being treated properly. --Jim

Jim and everyone, thank you for your help, kind words and advice.

I wish I could park on the doorstep of the facility in which they've placed Mom. I don't know how when facing my own issues, too.

Mom is a very healthy person; that is a good thing!

My daughter and four grandchildren visited with her Wednesday morning. They attended therapy with her and Mom remembers enough she was able to play ball with her great-grandchildren. She can't and does not call them by name, but in some capacity, she remembers them.