MOM IS HOLDING ON...HOWEVER SHE IS ALWAYS SAYING:.....YOU TOOK ME OUT OF MY APT....THATS ALL I HEAR ANYMORE.....SO I SIGNED HER UP FOR ASSISTED LIVING, SHE WILL HAVE HER OWN ROOM AND BATH, SO I CAN MOVE SOME OF HER FURNITURE THERE, ITS A SMALL FACILITY 18 BEDS ASSIST. LIVING.....18 BEDS....ALZ. CARE, SHE IS 3RD OR 4TH ON LIST........HOWEVER.... WHEN HER $$$ RUNS OUT IN ABOUT 2 YRS....THEY SEND HER HOME.....IM CONFUSED.....AND SCARED, I HAVE SIGNED HER UP FOR MEDICAID (2mos ago) AND SHE IS #17,200 ON THE LIST...IN Md........MANY OF YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT THE DOG [[AND]] BRINGING HER HOME......I JUST HATE TO PLACE HER, CAUSE HER HEALTH IS NOT TOO GREAT....I FEEL GUILTY......BUT IT WOULD BE LIKE HER OWN LITTLE APT.....IM JUST WORRIED ABOUT WHEN SHE GOES THERE....IS IT GOING TO BE A REPEAT OF DEC. WHEN I TOOK HER TO RESPITE AND SHE DID NOT GET OF THE CAR AND WAS BELIGERANT......HELP???
IM HAVING SPINE SURG. ON THE 14TH...SO SHE WILL STAY (HOPEFULLY) AT THE SAME PLACE SHE STAYED IN JUNE AND HAD NO PROBLEMS.....LETS HOPE AND PRAY....ZOEY M

Hi Zoey

Sounds like you found an excellent place for your mother-- small but specializing in ALZ care. You're really "learning the ropes" of caregiving for this awful disease...

I'm confused by your post-- usually folks aren't eligible for Medicaid until all moneys are spent down to $2000. How could she be on the list for Medicaid and have money for two years in an ALF?

When money is close to running out, you may want to place her in the dementia unit in a NH and pay for a few months private pay. There are some units that are very good so slowly look around over the next year to see what's available. The ability to private pay for some months in a NH can often make it easier to get in the home and then transfer to Medicaid.

It does sound like a nice place..we are going on a little over 2 yrs and this money thing never ends..I fee awful giving them her hard earned money every month..Good advice was given to you though slowly look around..take your time..you will know the place that feels right..we all get scared but try and be strong..your doing the right thing..

Hi Zoey

you will be in my thoughts and prayers..my friend..may your surgery..go well..Love Rosie

THX ROSIE.....YOU ALWAYS KNOW HOW TO CHEER US UP.....ZOEY M

HI ZOEY,

IT'S GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU!

I HOPE THAT YOUR SURGERY GOES WELL. I HOPE THAT EVERYTHING WORKS OUT WITH YOUR MOM.

BRIGHTWINGS GAVE YOU SOME GOOD ADVICE - TAKE YOUR TIME AND FIND A GOOD PLACE FOR YOUR MOM. SHE WILL ADJUST.

PLEASE KEEP US POSTED WHEN YOU CAN.

THX BRIGHTWINGS...GOOD ADVICE......! AND THX FOR THE WELL WISHES FOR SURGERY EVERYONE. MOM WILL GO DIRECTLY FROM DAYCARE RIGHT TO UNIT. ISN'T THAT GREAT??? IM SO HOPING THAT [[MY]] SURGERY IS NOT SCHEDULED TOO EARLY, THEY SAID AS EARLY AS 6AM....I HOPE ITS MORE LIKE 10AM, SO MOM CAN GET ON HER BUS TO DAYCARE LIKE A NORMAL DAY....!

ZOEY M

Hi, Zoey!

I really do think you're doing the right thing. Oh my goodness, you will need the rest after your surgery. And you sure don't want to mess up your back again caring for your mom.

Take care in the meantime. And let us know how it goes.

THX dj......since mom will forget in a hour about my surgery.....is it best to say nothing, or leave a note in her luggage...thoughts?

''IM THE SHADE AT YOUR RIGHT HAND'' Psalm 121

ZOEY M

GOOD MORNING, ZOEY,
YOU SAID IT YOURSELF...SHE WILL FORGET. I WOULD NOT TELL HER. IT MAY UPSET HER, EVEN FOR A FEW MINUTES. I WOULD NOT GIVE HER A NOTE, EITHER, AS SHE MAY GET UPSET IN RESPITE CARE.

ok.....thx, but she will want to know where I am....I do want to speak to her before surgery, what do I tell her? to say nothing seems strange........? ? z

''I AM THE SHANDE AT YOUR RIGHT HAND''
Psalm 121

ZOEY,
OF COURSE, YOU CAN DO AS YOU FEEL BEST. SINCE YOU ASKED, THOUGH, I BELIEVE IT IS IN HER BEST INTERESTS TO NOT TELL HER ANYTHING BEFOREHAND, ABOUT GOING TO THE HOSPITAL.

IF YOU FEEL YOU MUST TELL HER SOMETHING, TELL HER YOU ARE GOING ON A MINI VACATION, OR SOMETHING. BUT, FROM WHAT YOU HAVE WRITTEN, I THINK ANYTHING YOU TELL HER IS GOING TO GIVE HER CAUSE FOR CONCERN. SHE MAY FRET EVEN KNOWING THAT YOU WILL BE GONE FOR A LENGTH OF TIME.

HOWEVER, I THINK THAT IF SHE JUST GOES INTO RESPITE CARE LIKE A REGULAR DAY, LIKE YOU SUGGESTED, SHE MAY NOT EVEN REALIZE ANYTHING IS AMISS.

YES, IT WILL SEEM VERY STRANGE, BUT THE REALITY IS, YOU ARE DEALING WITH SOMEONE WHOSE REASONER IS BROKEN. YOU MUST CONSIDER THAT.

JUST TELL HER THAT YOU LOVE HER, WHEN SHE GOES OFF TO CARE.

ALSO, ZOEY,
THE SURGEON WILL NOT BE CUTTING YOUR THROAT, BUT ACCESSING YOUR SPINE THROUGH YOUR NECK. FROM WHAT I HAVE READ, THIS IS THE PREFERRED WAY, FOR CERVICAL SPINE SURGERY.

I FOUND THIS SITE, WHICH MAY INTEREST YOU. IT TELLS ABOUT PREPARING THINGS AROUND THE HOUSE FOR YOUR RECOVERY, ETC.
CERVICAL SPINE SURGERY: AN OVERVIEW

AFTER YOU READ THE ARTICLES, AT THE BOTTOM, CLICK ON "CONTINUE READING", TO GET TO THE NEXT PAGE.

THX MAEBEE, I FOUND THIS SITE YESTERDAY.....I WOULDN'T CARE EXCEPT....I MUST FINISH THIS MISSION IM ON WITH MOM.....PLACEMENT......I GOT AN ENCOURAGING E-MAIL FROM AN ASSISTED FACILITY TODAY....IT READ....WHEN MOM'S $$$$ RUNS OUT WE WOULD COVER THE COSTS IN A/L, WE NEVER PUT ANYONE OUT. HOWEVER I MUST APPLY, SHE SEEMS TO THINK I WOULD NOT HAVE ANY TROUBLE....[[AND]]
80% OF THE $$$ IS REFUNDED WHEN THE ROOM IS RE-RENTED....PLUS....ITS FAITH-BASED.....I VISITED MY FORMER MOM-IN-LAW THER ABOUT 4 YRS. AGO, SHE HAD SOME OF HER FURN. IN HER ROOM, IT JUST FELT RIGHT....SHE DOESN'T KNOW ME ANYMORE AND SITS IN A WHEELCHAIR BUT A SMALL SMILE IS OK...ITS NOT CLOSE TO ME, BUT ONLY 9 MILES AWAY....THE CHURCH CAN BE ENTERED THRU THE FACILITY.....I PRAY THIS IS THE ONE.......MOM COULD BE ON HER WAY TO A BETTER LIFE.....AND MAYBE US TOO.......BLESSINGS......ZOEY M

THE PLACE IS CALLED AUGSBURG LUTHERAN HOME & VILLAGE.....OH HAPPY DAY......I HOPE!!!

ZOEY,

I'VE HEARD NOTHING BUT GOOD THINGS ABOUT THE LUTHERAN HOME IN A NEIGHBORING COUNTY TO ME. I HOPE THAT ONE IS AS GOOD.

YES, IT WILL FEEL STRANGE TO you TO SAY NOTHING. YOUR MOTHER SHOULD NOT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. PLEASE TRY TO KEEP IN MIND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN OUR PERCEPTION AND THEIRS.

BLESSINGS!

Zoey, I know someone living at Augsburg now - my retired pastor. It is a lovely place. They really have a nice caring staff. He and his wife moved there 2 years ago, and she died a year ago. He has had physical difficulties but not AD, so I really can't tell you how the staff does with Alzheimer's patients. I do know that he is very content there. My mom visits him every month and she says it is well kept up and clean.

Good luck with all you are going through.