Thank you for such quick replies. Acutally we have done a lot. 4-years ago, we took her to the Beaumont Geriatric Center for the 3-day evaluation... they really suggested then that we put her in a facility right then & there. They were wrong... we bought some good time & never would of had them if she were away. Basically mom had stroke, three surgeries on aneurisms on her brain and many other issues. She broke a hip 8/07, followed by the other hip on 3/08. She had the nursing home rehab experience (supported by family)...and amazed all PTs with her sheer determination. Love her so much for this, but I am so exhausted... not even sure what I want from this website... perhaps just someone to talk to when family will not work. Will someone just talk to me? Help me through these hard times?

mightymite,

Love your "name"!!

We are all absolutely here for you to talk to!! Don't feel alone. There are many many people on this forum who will be more than happy to travel this road with you.

My brother and I share in the care of our 87 yr old Mom. We have paid caregivers that help out part time, if it were not for their help we would not be able to do this alone.... I really don't know how anyone could do this completely alone. I do hope you have help.

Your sweet Mom sounds like she's really been thru the ropes in the last few years, bless her heart.

We have been caring for Mom in our homes for since Feb. of 2005. Before that I cared for both Mom (AD) and Dad (cancer) until his death.

It has been a very tough road as I also care for Mom's home and farm 200 miles away and several of her rental homes. Property management, legal, financial, medical, and physical care of her has pretty much become a full time job for me.

Mom is in the end stage. This horrendous disease breaks my heart every single day. My sweet, sweet Mom.... how I wish we could again talk "girl talk", go out to lunch, go shopping, talk about the grandchildren, work on projects together, and all the things we used to do.

Now all she can do is just sit and stare. She can not move without assistance. She can not stand without assistance. She can walk a few steps with assistance. She never speaks without prompting, and then if she does speak, it will usually be only one word. Her ability to chew and swallow comes and goes. There is really only one way to communicate and that is thru music.

Believe it or not, she can SING along with me some very very old songs that are lodged in her long term memory. I'm constantly trying out songs on her and every once in a while we will hit on one that she knows. Just last week I discovered that she could remember "3 Blind Mice" I'll sing one stanza, and she'll sing the next!!! It is these "breakthrough" moments that keep me going.

I love her so much and this is just killing me to see her like this, but know what?! SHE'S ALIVE!! And I can hug her and love her and comb her hair, and read to her... she can't respond the way I would like for her to, but every once in a blue moon there will be a glimmer of understanding.

I'm so sorry for what you are going thru. I think you will find this forum to be a place where you will find solace, understanding, support, and love.

Tell us more about your situation...

Jane