My name is Kathy. My husband is 61 years old and was diagnosed 5 years ago. I am guessing he is in stage 7. I have to do all ADL's except for eating, which he still feeds himself, but many times needs to be fed as he forgets ~

My problem is two-fold and wondering if anyone had some ideas:
1. I'm really worried about him falling down the stairs. He is getting so shaky on his feet, and has almost fallen more than once. I try to watch him, but can't keep an eye on him all day long. He likes to go upstairs and lay in bed (which he does a lot lately). Someone told me to put the child gates on either end of the steps, but I'm afraid he will try to step over it and then will definitely go head first down the stairs. Any suggestions?

2. The other concerns bathroom functions. He still goes fine, but will forget where the bathroom is - or will go anywhere but the toilet - trash, sink, floor...He also has trouble pulling his clothes down, so soils himself fairly often. Depends won't help me, because he will still try to go in strange places. Any suggestions?

Oh the dreaded stairs. Is there a bedroom downstairs or a room that you can turn into a daytime sleeping room for him?

The second problem. I recently called the Alz. Assoc. about that same thing. They said that is a pretty common issue with patient's with AD. What about a placing a portable commode somewhere, or a special garbage can for him that he can use?

I will tell you that pretty soon after my mother starting going in strange places, she became pretty incontinent. Of course I'm pretty much in denial over it, but I'm realizing that it is true. I'm not sure if this is the pre-incontinent stage, if there is such a thing.

Kathy, welcome. You might also want to check out a site specifically for spouses and partners of people with Alz.

http://www.TheAlzheimerSpouse.com

Both sites have great information, sometimes on different topics or from slightly different perspectives.

Hi, Kathy, and welcome to the forum.

For anything and everything you'd ever need to know about incontinence (and a whole bunch of other caregiving issue), go to the Bigtree Murphy site:

http://bigtreemurphy.com/Incont.Home.htm

Safety in a two-story home can be a major issue. Child gates are not a good idea, for precisely the reason you mention.

Marj's suggestion is a good one ... maybe you could even turn a downstairs room into a "permanent" sleeping room for your husband. The stairs will become more and more dangerous as his disease progresses.

If that's not possible, can you install one of those electric stair lifts, that your husband can ride up and down stairs?

We had a discussion about stair safety on another thread, maybe you can find some useful tips there:

http://alzheimers.infopop.cc/e...=378101011#378101011

Also check to see what Beverly Bigtree Murphy has to say on this subject ... she has ideas on just about everything!

OK, that book on AD-proofing the house says:

Install a safety gate at the top and bottom of your staircases. Gates are sometimes installed only at the top or bottom, allowing a confused person to climb up the stairs, only to find himself confronted at the top by a closed, probably locked gate. He now has nowhere to go but back down the stairs, a task that might be difficult.

Also, gates installed at the top of stairs should never swing out over the stairs.

Note that gates intended to protect children can be climbed over or forced open by persistent, stronger, and taller adults. Keep this in mind when selecting and installing your gate.

Consider installing a sturdy wrought-iron gate. These can be attractive, strong, and if properly installed, unlikely to be overcome by even the strongest adult.

Installing a door in front of the stairs will hide them. If the stairs are "no longer there," your loved one won't be able to go downstairs at night. Make sure that whatever you use to hide the stairs is sturdy, strong, and reliable. Consider locking and alarming the door. You wouldn't want your family member to get through it, only to find a treacherous staircase beyond.

Finally, keep in mind that stairs that are "missing" might also add to your family member's confusion. Searching for the staircase may be a new reason to wander.

Thanks for the ideas and links. I'm afraid I heard that the problems I am experiencing with my Husband is the first steps to incontinence...ugh. I knew I would be facing it, but not really looking forward to it. I will check out the links y'all sent to me. Thanks again, as you all are already aware, it really helps to know you aren't alone.

K4gordon,
I have attractive, sturdy metal gates installed on my stairs...I had them hung a little higher than you would for a toddler but not so high that my MIL would think about crawling under them and high enough so that she wouldn't think about climbing over it.

The incontinence is almost a given...I'm so sorry...I found a great discription of changing a LO over on the Alzheimer's Spouse site...if you ask over there someone may remember...it was so you could change them standing up, without having to take off all their clothes...we're not there yet but I know that day is coming.

good luck

I may look into the taller metal gates. Where did you find such a thing? Were they hard to put in?

BTW, I changed my Logon name to "Katrinca" from K4gordon, which is my email address. My name is Kathy, but my Dad always called me Katrinca...just so you know it is still me!

You can buy ornamental garden gates online. Some are made from aluminum, which sounds like it might be better than wrought iron. I did a wee bit of googling, just to find the right key words and some idea of styles and prices. See, e.g.:

http://www.amazinggates.com/garden_gates.html

http://www.ornamentalgateworks...te/949781/page/45031

http://www.gates.itcstore.com/...og.aspx?catId=426951

Home Depot offers one style:

http://www.homedepot.com/h_d1/...0051&catalogId=10053

If you don't want to install it yourself, you could look for a contractor.

I put one gate on top of the other when the contractors are working in my house. keeps the dogs where I want them. Can you see if that might work?

Thanks for all the great ideas! I knew I was going to the right place! Wish me luck! You guys are awesome, I should have come here a year ago when Mike started to decline and my real problems started. God Bless you all.

Kathy, I don't know if the stairs are enclosed, but in The Alzheimer's Store magazine, I have seen a door size poster that looks like shelves with books on them - you hang it up and it hides the doorway. Another, maybe less expensive option for the stairs?

As far as incontinence -- my mom was having alot of accidents and I started asking her every 2 hours or so if she has to go to bathroom. Then I lead her to the bathroom and help her. I can start to tell now when she needs to go, and I'm aware of how much she is drinking. In the past month of doing that, she has had no accidents.

I found this idea on the Bigtreemurphy website! Hmmm interesting idea!
=========================
Bungee Cords instead of baby gates. I found that two substantial eye hooks screwed into the door frames with a bungee cord strung between them effectively kept Tom out of any room off limits. The baby gates actually created a hazard, in that they were too short for his height and he could fall over them. They were also a pain in the neck to open and shut for my access to my own space. The bungee cords allowed me to keep doors open throughout the house while securing his walk space. They also gave Tom a signal of resistance when his body touched on them, he never tried to get over or under them, and he was unable to figure out how to detach them.

I bought bungee cord by the yard at a local hardware store and tied them to clasps also bought in the same store. I could adjust length needed myself that way and it was actually cheaper to make my own then buy ready made. When Tom became chair-bound, I removed the eye hooks, filled the holes with wood putty, sanded and painted and the doorways returned to normal with a minimum of effort and cost.

quote:

I have seen a door size poster that looks like shelves with books on them - you hang it up and it hides the doorway. Another, maybe less expensive option for the stairs?

That's a great idea for covering actual doors ... but the book I mentioned warns to be sure to use something solid and sturdy to cover any opening. The ADLO could lean against the poster and fall right through. (The example the book gave was a shower curtain ... not a good idea.)

Yes, you're right JAB -- I was thinking of my parents house - Their stairs are enclosed with a door at the top (or bottom).

Someone said they changed their sign-in name.

If you are stilol there, or somone kinows, HOW DO I CHANGE MY SIGN-IN NAME?

Jeffory,

Go to the top of the page and click on My Profile. Click on View/Edit Complete Profile. Move down to Display Name and you can change the name that appears on the board.

Hope that helps.

Be sure to click on the "submit" button at the very end of the profile box after you've entered your new name.

If you change your sign-in name, it will be changed for all your posts BUT I think only for posts on threads that are active after you change your name. So if you don't want your old name to be seen anywhere on the message boards, after you change your name, be sure to post something on each thread where you've posted previously.

(Egads, does that make any sense at all???)

quote:

Originally posted by Katrinca:
My name is Kathy. My husband is 61 years old and was diagnosed 5 years ago. I am guessing he is in stage 7. I have to do all ADL's except for eating, which he still feeds himself, but many times needs to be fed as he forgets ~

My problem is two-fold and wondering if anyone had some ideas:
1. I'm really worried about him falling down the stairs. He is getting so shaky on his feet, and has almost fallen more than once. I try to watch him, but can't keep an eye on him all day long. He likes to go upstairs and lay in bed (which he does a lot lately).

A baby moniter is a huge blessing. I can hear Miss Marie when she starts shuffling around!

Jeffory - just go to just go to "My Profile" then a the right is a button for "view/edit your profile" you will find it there!

I finally found an answer to my stairs dilemma, albeit not the one I wanted! The caregiver that comes to help me out, said she asked the Alzheimer Association (was a guest speaker at her meeting). They said DON"T put up gates. For one, they will try to step over them, which is dangerous and second, it will confuse and disturb them - they will feel "fenced in". I tried a gate...he was very nervous about it and a little agitated -then when I wasn't looking, over he went! Their only advice was to just do the best at keeping an eye out for them..