Hello,

I have come here numerous times to read the posts, but am posting today for the first time.

My mother is 80 years old and has Alzheimers. I am not sure which stage she is in - probably moderate. I do her finances, visit her once a week and she lives in an assisted living facility in a separate dementia unit. She has only been there since June.

Lately she has started telling me every time and I mean every time that I visit her that she would like to live somewhere else, that she'd like to live halfway between my house and her friend's house but where someone would cook for her. Every time she asks me what I think about this and would it be possible to do this. Each time I tell her that she isn't well enough to live alone and that I can see what she wants but am not sure it is possible. (I know it isn't possible.)

I have a 3 kids (all teenagers) and the oldest is on a heart/lung transplant list and I provide most of her care. So I am really stressed and each time that mom asks me these questions, I get dizzy and then feel really tired after I've gotten away from her.

Does anyone have any idea what I can do with this so it won't be so hard? Thanks.

Hi, welcome to the message boards. Glad you found us.

The repetitive questions are part of the disease. They get fixated on a particular idea and cannot remember you have discussed it last week, yesterday or 15 minutes ago. Her reasoner is broken; you will not be able to convince her why such an idea won't work.

Your best bet is to enter into her reality, since she can no longer come into yours. "That's a great idea, Mom. We'll have to look into that." Of course, you know you have already "looked into that" and it won't work, but that is beside the point.

Then try to deflect her into another topic or redirect her into an activity. You may find it easiest to visit during an activity time, where you can participate with her but cut down the conversation, especially if the looping is too stressful for you right now (which would be totally understandable!!)

Please come back and keep us posted on your mom and also your daughter. We care!