Hi, We are working on getting a guardianship for my Mom who is in late stage Alzheimer's (she doesn't speak much anymore but can sometimes communicate her opinion) My father is the current caregiver and would like to remain so. Does it make any sense or would it even be feasible to make another family member guardian, most likely my Mom's sister who lives out of state, just to keep the extended family happy.


Is the caretaker always the guardian?
Thanks

No, often the caretaker is not the guardian. Depends on the situation.

And definitely don't choose a guardian just to "make the extended family happy."

This person will have both the right and the responsibility to make all important life decisions for your mom, so they need to be able to do that with a clear head and a pure heart.

Choose someone who:

1) is of sound mind themselves and likely to remain so

2) good in a crisis - doesn't panic, go to pieces

3) Understands what your mom's wishes would be

4) Is committing to carrying them out, whatever they are

5) Has a track record of handling money responsibly

6) Plays well with others - your dad and other family members, lawyer, healthcare people, etc.

7) Is able to "plug in" fast when needed - so geographic proximity or the financial and schedule flexibility to jump on a plane or drive in a care on a moment's notice is very helpful, esp. towards end of life.

If your father is the caregiver and wishes to remain the caregiver, then I'm confused as to why you are pursuing guardianship at all. It takes time and money, and even if both the proposed guardian and ADLO are agreeable to the guardianship, the process is very stressful. Courts and attorneys are involved, not just at the time of the petition, but forever after. They send an investigator to the home to check into every aspect of caregiving, examine the house, want records of doctor/dental appointments, and so on and so forth, on a regular basis. If the guardianship includes handling the financial matters, then there are pretty onerous recording and reporting requirements.

Does your father realize that if someone else were appointed guardian, that person would have the right to make decisions with which he strongly disagreed? And could enforce them, no matter how he felt? Including where your mom lives, and who takes care of her, and what medical treatment she receives?

Also, I sincerely doubt that the court would agree to an out-of-state guardian.

To my mind, there is something seriously wrong with the "extended family" wanting someone other than your father becoming a court-appointed guardian. Why??? This raises all sorts of red flags, in my opinion, and I more than agree with Grassflower -- definitely don't choose a guardian just to "make the extended family happy."

If your father feels he needs help, he doesn't have to petition for a guardian ... he can hire someone who is certified as a conservator or guardian. That way, if he didn't like the decisions being made, he could fire the first one he hires, and find someone better suited to the job.

Why do you want her to have a guardian? Since she has a husband he can legally make most of the decisions without the time and expense of involving the courts. If he does not have POA there could be some issues but since she is in late stages most facilities would allow him to make decisions for her without a court order.

Unless she has children from a prior marriage trying to take control I would not bother with guardianship.

I know some states require that the guardian be a resident of the state where the guardianship is granted. They have to appear before the court periodically and provide reports.

I just had my mom in the ER and no one asked for POA paperwork. I do have it but they did not demand to see it. I would be surprised that any doctors office or medical facility would not allow your father to make decisions for your mother since she is not able to make those decisions herself. It usually only gets complicated when the family is in disagreement concerning who should be in charge.