Hello everyone,
I have written a new short story. I think I am going to compose a book of vignettes. My previous one was entitled "Lost". I am writing these to try and get inside my Grandmother's head (stage 6 AD). None of these are actual events, but I wrote them wanting to inspire some hope.

As I Sit
By Jayme Hefler

As I sit here and watch, her eyes stay silent. The only movement is in her hands. She rubs them. I wonder what she is watching; I wonder what show is playing in her mind. I keep staring--I can’t help it. What is she thinking? Her face is solemn, no expression, no emotion. Her eyes never reach mine. She looks past me. I don’t exist. And now I can no longer see her. She has disappeared right before my eyes. A hollowed out figure remains. As I sit here, she sits there. I don’t know her. I reach out to touch her hand.
“Grandma,” I whisper. She remains constant.
“Grandma,” I repeat once more, but still no answer. As I stand, she sits there. I keep her hand, and try so hard to make it breath. My face starts to tremble. Oh, I miss her so much. I drop to my knees. My head falls and I put her hands between mine.
“Lord,” I say, “please, Lord, I need you.” Tears swallow my face. “Please bring my Grandma closer to you. Let her know she is not alone. Oh Lord, I don’t want her to be scared. Please walk with her. Help her see you and know that she will be okay. Lord, we need you. Please.”
I lose control and begin to choke on my tears. Her hands still sit in mine; heavy. Her blood is warm but her touch is cold. My sobs reach every corner of the room. A pain rises in my stomach and I release her hands to clutch it. I begin to rock. I don’t want to end up like this. How could God create something so cruel? This disease…it rips you apart in the most painfully slow way, until nothing is left in the end. Just your body. And deep into the darkest corner of your skull, you sit, and claw at the cage that keeps you in. And you pray. Everyone does. If your faith is strong, you see a light. It guides you out of your pen and you no longer feel alone. And for that brief moment you live again.
“Jayme,” a voice calls out, “Jayme!” Warm arms grip my shoulders and pull me upwards. The pain disappears and I can see her again. She looks at me. She holds me. “I am so sorry,” she says with a tear, “I am so so sorry.” I clutch her as hard as I can.
“Don’t leave,” I say. She kisses my forehead.
“I love you.”
“I missed you.”
“Please tell Papa thank you.”
“He loves you so much Grandma. He is so good to you.”
“I know. I can feel him every day.”
I look up into her eyes. I’ve never seen them shine so bright. She slowly smiles and sits up. I keep holding her. She turns her face away and her eyes return to their normal state. She is gone again. Tears begin to fall once more. I lean against her legs, but this time with a smile. I can feel His prescience. I look up once more, just to make sure. I don’t know her, but I do remember her.

Thank you for sharing, Your words are touching and beautiful!

I think god is kind for having created a loving grandma in the first place. That's a pretty decent consolation. Even though this is not a nice way to die. --Jim