I really need this place. Someplace I can go and talk to others who understand. My father is 65. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 5 years ago. It has progressed rapidly. He can still walk but he hasn't been able to bathe or dress himself in over a year. I quit my job last year when my son started school and we (including my husband) moved in with my parents. My mother has had heart trouble in the past and it has gotten to much for her to handle on her own. About 6 months ago he got to the point where he gets violent sometimes. Mostly when you try to give him a shower or change his clothes. He never makes it to the bathroom anymore. We've been using depends now for about a year. This is got to be the cruelest disease. My father was the strongest man I knew. He taught us to drive, helped with our homework. Chased away the dragons. I have 2 sisters but they live out of town. Sometimes when he's yelling at me because I'm trying to wash him, its so hard to see my father in there. He's told me and my mom he'd kill us. He has arthritis also so he's not very strong anymore. But he's landed a few on me. It is so hard to understand why this disease happens. It is a humiliating disease. It robs people of their dignity. I love my father. How do you say goodbye to someone who does'nt know you anymore? Some days I feel so stressed out and depressed. My husbands a truck driver so he's not here much and he doesn't understand how hard it is. Just needed to let some out. Thanks for listening!!

liz,
just saw your post. my heart goes out to you. you have given so much of yourself for your dad. my dad too lives with me and my husband. and it is hard, very hard. some days very exhausting and frustrating. i'm glad you vented here. it is a good safe place where people can understand what your're feeling.

my dad is similiar to yours in what he is able to do. fortunately he has not been aggresive or violent for the most part but it is still stressful and hard. is your dad on any medication for agitation? my dad was started on respiradol last summer and just recently increased it so that takes his edge off most of the time which is helpful.

i guess my advice to you is to come here often to vent, learn and makes friends. take each day at a time and cherish the moments you can still have with your dad. i know that's easier said than done but i'm learning that it makes my life easier and my dad's as well.

i have learned so much the past 6 months or so i have spent time on this website and know it's been a lifeline to me. you will also find many great posts on the caregivers forum as well as visiting the chat room at night.

take care and keep us posted.

It feels good finding a place where people understand. They started him on Seraquel 3 weeks ago. Its usually used for bi-polar but its starting to be used for AD for anger managment. The only times he gets aggressive is when we go to give him a shower or take him to the bathroom. But these are both things that have to be done. I am usually the one to do them because with my mom's heart problems I don't want her to have to do any lifting or anything. He sleeps a good bit now but other times he's awake and he'll just laugh at whatever we do. Its like having a second child. But after all he did for me growing up how can I do less?