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Dear Diana, I am so sorry for the loss of your grandmother. I'm sure she knew that you would have been there if you could. Try to focus on the good memories, I'm sure that was what she was doing at the end.
I lost my mom a week ago today. I was with her at the end, I can tell you that my mother did not seem very aware of her surroundings or of who was there. Hospice told me that as part of the death process they sometimes pull away from their loved ones, they recede into themselves. That is what my mom did. I can tell you that it was very difficult for both me and my sister at the end. I'm not even sure that she knew we were there. We said our goodbyes, but I really don't know if mom was aware of it.
The best thing that you can do now is to live your life the best you can, honor what your grandmother taught you. She does know that you love her and I'm sure she knew that at the end. One moment of not being with her does not diminish the years you spent together.
Be gentle with yourself, you have done nothing wrong.
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| Posts: 1369 | Location?: oregon | Registered: March 11, 2005 |  |
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So sorry to hear your sad news
My mum who was 84 had had AD for 8 years
She died suddenly last month from a heart
attack
I last saw her the day before in her nursing
home
She 'looked' through the newspaper & I said
I'll see you tomorrow
She died half an hour or so after I got to
Ysbyty Glan Clwyd [ Welsh hospital]
And time does and will heal
Derek
Wales, UK
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| Posts: 2 | Location?: Wales | Registered: March 28, 2007 | |
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quote: Originally posted by Diana57:
I just lost my grandmother last week and can't seem to get all the "what if" from my head. I feel so devastated that I was not with her at the end (she lived in Fl and I in NY). I feel that she must of thought I had forgotten about her. In reality my aunt never told me how bad she had gotten within the past few weeks, she declined really bad in 3-4 days. I wasn't told because I am in Nursing school and they didn't want it to affect my schoolwork. I understand there concerns but I feel that I should have been told and given the choice to be there. My grandmother raised me and I meant everything to her as she meant everything to me. I should have been there for her and never got to tell her goodbye. I feel like she suffered so much in the end and I didn't help.
If anyone has any ideas / suggestions please let me know. I really want to just crawl under a rock right now.
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yes is very hard to lose the one you love and only time will heal you , remember the good time with her and what she stand for . you , me the world have no control of alzhiemers . all we can do is have faith and believe in you self . i lost my mother on 02/19/2007 three days after my birthday and i'am having a hard time with this . i was there with her every day for the last 7 years of her life and i was their on her bed side when she took her last breath . she was my partner my love of my life and i will miss her . but life goes on . you will cry and thats good therapy for you and then you will remember her as she was . hang in there ,you will prosper with her memory . quote: Originally posted by Diana57:
I just lost my grandmother last week and can't seem to get all the "what if" from my head. I feel so devastated that I was not with her at the end (she lived in Fl and I in NY). I feel that she must of thought I had forgotten about her. In reality my aunt never told me how bad she had gotten within the past few weeks, she declined really bad in 3-4 days. I wasn't told because I am in Nursing school and they didn't want it to affect my schoolwork. I understand there concerns but I feel that I should have been told and given the choice to be there. My grandmother raised me and I meant everything to her as she meant everything to me. I should have been there for her and never got to tell her goodbye. I feel like she suffered so much in the end and I didn't help.
If anyone has any ideas / suggestions please let me know. I really want to just crawl under a rock right now.
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I LOST MY MOTHER 7-27-2006 TO DEMENTIA. SHE LIVED WITH ME FOR 4 YEARS. I HAVE 4 SIBLINGS WHO NEVER HELPED ME WITH HER. SHE LIVED WITH ME AND MY HUSBAND. I FOUND HER DEAD ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR, I WAS VERY DEVASTATED AS SHE WAS NOT PHYSICALLY SICK. I WENT THROUGH A DEEP DEPRESSION FROM JULY THROUGH FEBRUARY WHEN THE LORD BROUGHT ME OUT. HE HAD A WORK FOR ME. I HAD TO GO THROUGH IN ORDER TO RECIEVE MY BLESSING. I AM NOW THE FACILITATOR OF AN ALZHEIMER/DEMENTIA SUPPORT GROUP IN MY COMMUNITY, DEDICATED IN MEMORY OF MY MOTHER. I AM ALSO WORKING AT THE SENIOR CENTER WITH THE SENIORS. I USE TO CRY EVERY DAY, BUT NOW I WAKE UP AND ASK THE LORD TO USE ME. I FEEL GOOD ABOUT LIVE AND THE TIME I HAD WITH MY MOTHER AND THAT THE EXPERIENCE I SHARED WITH HER, CAN HELP SOMEONE ELSE.
CAROLYN
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Thank you soooo much for the comforting words, it is truly appreciated. My thoughts and prayers are with each and everyone of you.
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| Posts: 2 | Location?: Staten Island | Registered: March 17, 2007 | |
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Hi, I am so sorry for you loss, my thought and prayers are with you at this time. I can see where you are coming from, I lost my grandmother in 2002 in a car accident and she had alzheimer's and losing her was the hardest thing for me. I had to cope with losing her but had to be strong for my grandfather, my mother, and my aunt. It's going to be 5 years this year in august and i have yet to heal. It's not that I'm holding on to the past but she was very important to me and I miss her and there are times i do cry but then i think about the good times we had together. I work hard in school to make her proud though see won't get to see me graduate college i know she is there in spirit. Think about your grandmother, treasure your time together and honor her. Remember all things happen for a reason and there will be good out of this; whether you get closer to your family or closer to faith and yourself. Hope you feel better.=>
Kathy Reyes
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| Posts: 1 | Location?: Bruni, Texas | Registered: April 16, 2007 | |
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