I wanted to re-do this thread, as the last one got kind of side tracked.

Feeling sorry for yourself??

"The words have such a negative connotation. That connotation has been imposed on all of us by our fast moving culture that wants people to “get over it”. And so such words as ”feeling sorry for herself” evoke the image of a person who wants to wallow in misery. No one wants to be that person, in their own eyes or in the eyes of others.

So walls are built to hide the feelings. Sometimes even from yourself.
But wallowing is one thing. Working to get through it is something else again. You have to get through whatever is behind the wall if you want your present life to improve.

HERE’S THE THING: YOU HAVE TO FEEL IT, TO GET THROUGH IT. It is ok to have compassion for yourself and what you went through. Compassion is a feeling of sympathy along with the desire or yearning to alleviate the suffering of another. It is ok to extend the same compassion to yourself that you would to a loved one who went through the same thing. You need to have compassion for yourself in order to allow yourself to feel the feelings and walk through, and beyond, the pain. That’s not wallowing. That’s doing something about it."
~~a Therapist with Lupus

This reminds me of a quote from a valuable former member, Deborah Uetz:
"When someone you love passes, you don't get over it. You learn to walk beside it."
The same can be applied to coping with our Loved Ones and AD.

Give yourselves all some compassion today. It may very well be the BEST thing you do for yourself. Maebee

TTT

Maebee,

Thanks so much for sharing.

I am far too in love to feel sorry for myself. I feel blessed. At this moment. Of course, I can have a momentary lapse. And decide some day to feel sorry for myself. I suspect we all do. At least on occasion. But not while I am in love. With someone. With life. But it's all right to feel sorry for another. Especially for someone starved of love. --Jim

I don't think you get the essence of my post, Jim.

Could be you don't get the essence of my post, Maebee. If so, it's no big deal. --Jim

If someone you love is physically hurt, it's highly unlikely you'd have no sympathy or compassion for them and that you'd push them and force them to keep going and ignore their cries of pain. You'd probably look after them, treat them kindly and compassionately, encourage them to rest, maybe even spoil them a little, and do what you could to make them feel better and to speed their healing.

And yet we usually don't treat our own emotional, mental and spiritual pain and healing in the same way.

These are the fastest, most effective steps to aid healing (physical, emotional, mental and spiritual):

1. Feel sorry for yourself - meaning a combination of Compassion and Acknowledgement.

2. Treat yourself as you would a loved one who is recovering from surgery.

3. Do whatever feels good in the moment, no matter how "self indulgent" - it is part of your treatment and it will speed up your healing.

4. Follow what feels good in the moment. If you follow what feels good in the moment, you will come through the self pity, move into self comforting, move on to indulgence, and then to inspiration and finally back to action. And it's important to let each stage play through fully until you naturally and automatically find yourself in the next one. As long as you're following what feels good in the moment, you can't go wrong, and you will not stay in any one state indefinitely.

So, go ahead and feel sorry for yourself! Give yourself permission. It's giving yourself a soft place to fall before you rest, recover and get up again.(illusions-The Truth about "Feeling Sorry for Yourself")

Thank you maebee...because I was.

It seems a lot of people are being taken to task, for "feeling sorry for themselves". As long as it is not taking over your daily life, go ahead, indulge. you may come away stronger, renewed!

"If someone you love is physically hurt, it's highly unlikely you'd have no sympathy or compassion for them and that you'd push them and force them to keep going and ignore their cries of pain. You'd probably look after them, treat them kindly and compassionately, encourage them to rest, maybe even spoil them a little, and do what you could to make them feel better and to speed their healing.

And yet we usually don't treat our own emotional, mental and spiritual pain and healing in the same way.

These are the fastest, most effective steps to aid healing (physical, emotional, mental and spiritual):

1. Feel sorry for yourself - meaning a combination of Compassion and Acknowledgement.

2. Treat yourself as you would a loved one who is recovering from surgery.

3. Do whatever feels good in the moment, no matter how "self indulgent" - it is part of your treatment and it will speed up your healing.

4. Follow what feels good in the moment. If you follow what feels good in the moment, you will come through the self pity, move into self comforting, move on to indulgence, and then to inspiration and finally back to action. And it's important to let each stage play through fully until you naturally and automatically find yourself in the next one. As long as you're following what feels good in the moment, you can't go wrong, and you will not stay in any one state indefinitely.

So, go ahead and feel sorry for yourself! Give yourself permission. It's giving yourself a soft place to fall before you rest, recover and get up again."~~The Truth About "Feeling Sorry for Yourself"....

Thank you, Maebee!
Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving doing whatever nurtures you most.

Namaste