Took me 10 years to learn to cope with Alzheimer's. I don't know if that makes me a slow learner. But at least I learned. How to be a decent care-giver. Guess what I learned most was acceptance. My dear Jeanne had Alzheimer's for at least 13 years. It came on rather gradually. Sneakily. Little signs. Then it got worse. And worse. However, seems to me in the last 3 years, it got better. Maybe that was just my subjective perception. Because I was finally able to deal with it. In a manner that I think made Jeanne feel more comfortable. Could be that I never lost my cool in those 3 years. At least, not in Jeanne's presence. I immersed her in good vibes. In positive responses to everything she did. I tried to remove stress from Jeanne's life. The best I could. And I think that made a significant difference. I wish I had done a better job of it in the first 10 years. It wasn't necessarily a bad effort. It just wasn't good enough. Didn't meet my current standards. I made too many mistakes. Oh, I can find excuses. For a while, I was overwhelmed. It was impossible to keep going 24/7 year after year. Too much of an emotional, mental and physical strain. I doubt that even a saint would make it through that kind of grind. Without relief. I finally got daily respite when Jeanne entered a nursing home. She lived there for 38 months. But I was there every day. Usually for 8 to 10 hours. And I truly tended to Jeanne. In so many, many ways. One on one. And I enjoyed it. In large part because Jeanne was so positively responsive. Pleasant. Loveable. I was wishing this routine would go on forever. When Jeanne died, I wasn't ready for it. I wasn't sure I could live without Jeanne. I thought maybe I wanted to die, too. But I began to reflect. And it was as if Jeanne was talking to me. From the spriit world. That life is a blessing. And that every day of it should be savored. Not wasted. And so I'm following Jeanne's orders. I'm doing what Jeanne taught me. --Jim

Beautiful!

THANK YOU JIM.....ZOEY M

This really touched me. Your love for Jeanne reminds me of the love my dad had for my mom. Ironically her name is Jeanne as well.

Thank you for sharing.
I am the caregiver for my dear husband. He has had alzheimers since 2008 and it is so hard to accept the fact that he has this disease.
I have read so much on the subject. I also want to always be there for him. I pray to the lord to give me the strength and patience. The love for him is always there.
I am very lucky to have a very close family. They are their to help me at any time if needed.
Which I am sure I will eventually need.
May the good Lord bless you. 13 years is a very very long time.

Thank you, Jim.
I doubt if the "learning curve" for Alzheimer's caregiving could be more eloquently shared.
As an another equally eloquent gentleman told me, in all there is in all the world, the most important thing is always love.

Peace.
Namaste.